Of course, the ideal circumstances for optimum physical & psychological health is to be in a deeply close relationship of mutual loving, caring, & sharing. At the other end of the continuum are those relationships and/or people who are actually toxic to our body & spirit. For most of us, our relationships fall somewhere on the continuum between those two poles; or we may have opted off of the continuum for a more satisfying or less painful lifestyle; or we may be off of the continuum for reasons not in our control. My hopes for "Kees" & "Uncle" & "Arthur" and the many more of us who struggle with this issue is that we'll have the courage to recognize the physical & emotional damage which certain relationships cause, the strength to let go of those, and the heart to offer the best of ourselves to those with whom we can connect in a healthy way. Mary Legan