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Hi Emily & welcome to the PD list!

My name is Shannon, and I am a co-caregiver for my fiance's parents,
both of whom have PD.

I have a lot of empathy for you and your situation.  Any time a person
has to make these sorts of decisions for someone else, there is
self-doubt and pain.

When we moved to Texas last summer, Clark's mom, Marguerite, was just
beginning (overdue) to use a walker.  She still had falls.  Her doctor
recommended a wheelchair after a fall in February, but Clark didn't want
to take away the independence that walking allowed Marguerite.  Well,
she had a life-threatening fall at the end of March and has been using a
wheelchair since.

Yes, her being in a wheelchair is more work for us, but the falls have
been eliminated.  Marguerite now is barely able to talk -- that last
fall robbed her of the last of her ability to put her thoughts into
words.  It's not only frustrating for us, but very frustrating for her
when she even bothers to try.  Clark feels guilty because he didn't go
with the wheelchair sooner, but it's not something he can beat himself
up over.

You didn't say much about your mom's mental state, but I'm going to
assume that she's pretty well in control of her faculties?  I would
discuss the idea with her.  Talk to her physician, too.  Get as much
input as you can from those around her.  (I know, probably not super
easy when you don't live very close.)  Does your mom have access to
occupational therapy?  Perhaps if she were using a wheelchair, she could
"be trained" to do the transfers (to toilet, bed, etc.) by herself
safely, thus retaining her independence and safety.  Maybe you could
rent one for a month and see if it's something she's comfortable using?

However, if she understands the situation and is still set against the
idea, you may have to respect that for now.

Well, I hope I've helped you a little.  Just remember that there are no
right or wrong decisions, and we're all bound to make some mistakes.
All you can do is follow your heart and do the best you can.

Shannon Uehling
co-CG for Jack (77/11) and Marguerite (73/1)
Austin, TX

http://home.sprynet.com/sprynet/smu
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Emily Rosenthal wrote:
>
> Hi, I'm new here, lurking for a few days.
>
> My mom (age 76) was recently diagnosed with PD, prev. mis-diagnosed with
> small vein disease.  No tremor, but everything else.  In retrospect it's
> probably been coming on for years.  She worked full time in a stand-up sales
> job until a year ago, and driving daily to a part-time in a clerical job
> until mid-July.  But it's hard to believe because she seems to be
> deteriorating so fast.  At least the diagnosis meant the start of trying drug
> therapies, first Sinemet alone and now with Amantadine.  Not the miracles
> we'd hoped for.  The Sinemet helps a little, not sure about the other.  The
> posts here have already been helpful to me (& I relay to her) re: medications
> and other issues.
>
> My most pressing issue is neither I nor my siblings live close by -- She's in
> Boston, I'm the closest in NYC.  She was living alone, but two weeks ago, we
> finally moved her into an Assisted Care facility.  That is clearly no panacea
> either.  She's finally using a walker regularly but that doesn't seem to help
> with some types of falls.  Does she need a wheelchair so soon?  I've been
> hoping that as the trauma of moving fades, she would improve, but I don't see
> it yet.
>
> Thank you for being here.
>
> emily ([log in to unmask])