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| !!!!!!!
| (=F4 =F4)
| +-----oOO----(_)----------------+
| | Got a joke for |
| | you! |
| +------------------------oOO----+
| |__| |__|
| || ||
| ooO Ooo
=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=
=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=
=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D
STORY TIME.
"A shoe salesman flew to another country and to his horror he found that
no one wore shoes - he rang his boss and said he was flying straight
back."
"Another shoe salesman flew to the same country and saw that no one wore
shoes and rang his boss and said "What an opportunity no one here wears
shoes - I can sell thousands of pairs !!!"
=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=
=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=
=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D
___________________________________________________________________
|
| PROBLEM SOLVING
| P R O C E S S
|
| YES =3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=
=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D NO
+-----------|| Does the Darn Thing work? ||-----------+
| =3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=
=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D |
V V
+----------+ +---------+ +---------+
| Don't | NO | Does | +-------+ YES | Did you |
| mess | +---| anyone |<------| YOU |<---------| mess |
| with it! | | | know? | | MORON | | with it |
+----------+ | +---------+ +-------+ +---------+
| V | YES | NO
| +------+ +-----------+ |
| | HIDE | V V
| | IT | +--------+ +-----------+
| +------+ | YOU | YES | WILL THEY |
| | +------->| POOR |<------------| CATCH YOU?|
| | | | IDIOT !| +-----------+
| | | |________| | NO
| | | | |
| | | V V
| | | +---------------+ +-----------+
| | | NO | CAN YOU BLAME | |DESTROY THE|
| | +------| SOMEONE ELSE? | | EVIDENCE |
| | +---------------+ +-----------+
| | | YES |
| | v |
| | =3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=
=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D |
| +---->|| N O ||<---------+
+------------>|| P R O B L E M ||
=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=
=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D
=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=
=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D
MY COLLECTION OF WORDS OF WISDOM
=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=
=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D
"Laughter is the shortest distance between two people."
"A friend is someone who will help you move. A real friend is someone
who will help you move a body."
"If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would
probably be Labor Day Weekend."
"The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it."
"Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a
function."
"Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled
through snow."
"I have noticed that the people who are late are often so much jollier
than the people who have to wait for them."
"I am always doing that which I can not do, in order that I may learn
how to do it."
"Technology is dominated by two types of people: those who understand
what they do not manage, and those who manage what they do not
understand."
"Nobody believes the official spokesman... but everybody trusts an
unidentified source."
=
"No one really listens to anyone else, and if you try it for a while
you'll see why."
"Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing
your temper."
"My grandfather once told me that there are two kinds of people: those
who work and those who take the credit. He told me to try to be in the
first group; there was less competition there."
"There are two types of people--those who come into a room and say,
'Well, here I am!' and those who come in and say, 'Ah, there you are.'
"There are two kinds of people, those who finish what they start and so
on."
"There are two kinds of people in the world, those who believe there are
two kinds of people in the world and those who don't."
"Always and never are two words you should always remember never to
use."
"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too
dark to read."
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning
to others.
Law of Probability Dispersal: Whatever it is that hits the fan will not
be evenly distributed. And most of it will end up on YOU!
"He who laughs last didn't get it."
Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bullshit before.
=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=
=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=
=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D
WHAT IF DR. SEUSS WROTE TECHNICAL MANUALS?
If a packet has a pocket on a socket on a port,
And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!
If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
And the double clicking icons put your window in the trash,
And your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash,
Then your situation's hopeless and your system's gonna crash!
If the label on your cable on the gable on your house,
Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
But your packets want to tunnel to another protocol,
That's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall.
And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of Gauss,
So your icons in your window are as wavy as a zouse,
Then you may as well reboot and go without a bang,
'Cause as sure as I'm a poet, the thing is gonna hang!
When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk,
And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary RISC,
Then you hafta flash your memory, and you'll want to RAM your ROM,
Quickly turn off your computer and be sure to tell your mom.
|**********************
HUGS....you choose the hair style!!!!
|
| ___ (((( ___
| ____( \ .-' `-. / )____
(____ \_____ / (O O) \ _____/ ____)
(____ `-----( ) )-----' ____)
(____ _____________\ \____/ /_____________ ____)
(______/ `-.____.-' \______)
.
___ ____ ___
____( \ .-' `-. / )____
(____ \_____ / (O O) \ _____/ ____)
(____ `-----( ) )-----' ____)
(____ _____________\ \____/ /_____________ ____)
(______/ `-.____.-' \______)
=
___ //// ___
____( \ .-' `-. / )____
(____ \_____ / (O O) \ _____/ ____)
(____ `-----( ) )-----' ____)
(____ _____________\ \____/ /_____________ ____)
(______/ `-.____.-' \______)
=2E...a little something special for you....
Gail Vass CG of 2
