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In case anyone is interested there is a new (think it's new) newsgroup called alt.social-security-disbility. There were only 4 postings on it when I checked and I didn't download them. And now, the news. > > "It's that simple; that complex..." > > ---------- Forwarded message ---------- > Thanks Pat! Bill has to earn a few more billion before he can buy the US. > The debt is tremendous! ;-) > > -----Original Message----- > > REDMOND, Wash. - Oct. 23, 1997 -- In direct response to accusations made > by the Department of Justice, the Microsoft Corp. announced today that > it will be acquiring the federal government of the United States of > America for an undisclosed sum. > > "It's actually a logical extension of our planned growth", said > Microsoft chairman Bill Gates, "It really is going to be a positive > arrangement for everyone". Microsoft representatives held a briefing in > the oval office of the White House with U.S. President Bill Clinton, and > assured members of the press that changes will be "minimal". The United > States will be managed as a wholly owned division of Microsoft. An > initial public offering is planned for July of next year, and the federal > government is expected to be profitable by "Q4 1999 at latest", according > to Microsoft president Steve Ballmer. > > In a related announcement, Bill Clinton stated that he had "willingly > and enthusiastically" accepted a position as a vice president with > Microsoft, and will continue to manage the United States government, > reporting directly to Bill Gates. When asked how it felt to give up the > mantle of executive authority to Gates, Clinton smiled and referred to > it as "a relief". He went on to say that Gates has a "proven track > record", and that U.S. citizens should offer Gates their "full support and > confidence". Clinton will reportedly be earning several times the > $200,000 annually he has earned as U.S. president, in his new role at > Microsoft. > > Gates dismissed a suggestion that the U.S. Capitol be moved to Redmond > as "silly", though did say that he would make executive decisions for > the U.S. government from his existing office at Microsoft headquarters. > Gates went on to say that the House and Senate would "of course" be > abolished. "Microsoft isn't a democracy", he observed, "and look how > well we're doing". > > When asked if the rumored attendant acquisition of Canada was > proceeding, Gates said, "We don't deny that discussions are taking > place". > > Microsoft representatives closed the conference by stating that United > States citizens will be able to expect lower taxes, increases in > government services and discounts on all Microsoft products. > > About Microsoft: > Founded in 1975, Microsoft (NASDAQ "MSFT") is the worldwide leader in > software for personal computers, and democratic government. The company > offers a wide range of products and services for public, business and > personal use, each designed with the mission of making it easier and > more enjoyable for people to take advantage of the full power of > personal computing and free society every day. > > About the United States: > Founded in 1789, the United States of America is the most successful > nation in the history of the world, and has been a beacon of democracy > and opportunity for over 200 years. Headquartered in Washington, D.C., > the United States is a wholly owned subsidiary of Microsoft Corporation. > > > > > >