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> > > Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road? > > >RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, > > >the chicken did NOT cross the road. > > >JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why > > >doesn't anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck was this chicken > > >doing walking around all over the place, anyway?" > > >FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken > > >crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity. > > >BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, > > >which will not only cross roads, but will also lay eggs, file your > > >important documents, and balance your checkbook. > > >OLIVER STONE: The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross > > >the road?" Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same > > >time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken > > >crossing?" > > >DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been > > >naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically > > >dispositioned to cross roads. > > >LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you will see, represents the > > >black man. The chicken 'crossed' the black man in order to > > >trample him and keep him down. > > >MARTIN LUTHER KING JR.: I envision a world where all chickens > > >will be free to cross roads without having their motives called >>> into question. > > >GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed > > >the road. Someone told us that the chicken had crossed the road, > > >and that was good enough for us. > > >MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. > > >Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever > > >motive there was. > > >EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road > > >moved beneath the chicken is a matter of relativity. > > >BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature. > > >RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road. > > >It transcended it. > > >ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain. > > >COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one???