Hello everybody, I got this one a short time ago, and I just had to pass it
along. Enjoy!
Another kind contribution from my friend Wendy
Love to all, but Carpe Diem
Michel Margosis
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Astrology tells us about you and your future simply by your birthday. The
Chinese Zodiac uses the year of your birth. Demographics tell us what you
like, dislike, whom you vote for, what you buy and what you watch on
television. Well, the Corporate Zodiac goes a step further: simply by your
job title, people will have you all figured out...
(For those not intimately acquainted with English: MBA=Master in Business
Administration)
MARKETING: You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing
degree to avoid having to study in college, concentrating instead on
drinking and socializing - which is pretty much what your job
responsibilities are now. Least compatible with Sales.
SALES: Laziest of all signs, often referred to as "marketing
without a degree", you are also self-centered and paranoid.
Unless someone calls you and begs you to take their money,
you like to avoid contact with "customers" so you can
"concentrate on the big picture". You seek admiration for
your golf game throughout your life.
TECHNOLOGY: Unable to control anything in your personal life,
you are instead content to completely control everything that
happens at your workplace. Often even YOU don't understand
what you are saying, but who the hell can tell?! It is written that
the Geeks shall inherit the Earth.
ENGINEERING: One of only two signs that actually studied
in school, it is said that ninety percent of all Personal
Ads are placed by engineers. You can be happy with
yourself: your office is typically full of all the latest
"ergodynamic" gadgets. However, we all know what is really
causing your "carpal tunnel"...
ACCOUNTING: The only other sign that studied in school,
you are mostly immune from office politics. You are the
most feared person in the organization; combined with your
extreme organizational traits, the majority of rumors
concerning you say that you are completely insane.
HUMAN RESOURCES: Ironically, given your access to
confidential information, you tend to be the biggest
gossip within the organization. Possibly the only other
person that does less work than marketing, you are unable
to return any calls today because you
have to get a haircut, have lunch, AND mail a letter!
MIDDLE MANAGEMENT/DEPARTMENT MANAGEMENT/"TEAM LEADS":
Catty, cut-throat, yet completely spineless, you are destined to
remain at your current job for the rest of your life. Unable to make
a single decision you tend to measure your worth by the number
of meetings you can schedule for yourself. Best suited to marry
other "Middle Managers", as everyone in your social circle is a
"Middle Manager".
SENIOR MANAGEMENT: Catty, cut-throat, yet completely
spineless, you are destined to remain at your current job
for the rest of your life. Unable to make a single
decision you tend to measure your worth by the number of
meetings you can schedule for yourself. Best suited to
marry other "Senior Managers", as everyone in your social
circle is a "Senior Manager".
CUSTOMER SERVICE: Bright, cheery, positive, you are a
fifty-cent cab ride from taking your own life. As a child
very few of you asked your parents for a little cubicle
for your room and a headset so you could pretend to play
"Customer Service". Continually passed over for
promotions, your best bet is to sleep with your manager.
CONSULTANT: 666, the sign of the beast.
