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Dear Kathrynne, I have had much occurr since my last message. My Husband and I were helping our son move when he, my husband, began to have chest tightening, shortage of breath and upset stomach. This occurred at 3pm. Saying nothing, he drove over 100 miles home to enter himself into the hospital @7pm. Five years ago he had a quadruple bypass. Monday, he had the balloon proceedure on the otherside. Needless to say, I have had my hands full with a traveling executive, now regretting making the decision to retire in a moment of anger, who has turned into a recluse. I told him: we are living in a warehouse. He at one end and me in the other with furniture stored in the middle. We have 4 children, the youngest a college junior. ......"The more you have in life the more you have to pay."...... I have found with this latest hospitalization a measure of bonding by our children with their father and I hope this will help him realize there is life after death and a better life. And heal the rejection the children have felt from him. He was not here while they were growing up, but he did use his checkbook. They are now making the attempt to break through the shield he has covered himself with. I feel like this is a chance to recapture the love he and I had early on before life became so hectic. I always said;" He was the most interesting man I knew". But now I realize the word should be Love not interesting man. I love him, esp. his weaknessess, because they are my strengths. I feel like the Holy Spirit is directing us. I surely have prayed for a reconcillation within our family. Making my desease, which started the erruption, and other things to so complicate and disrupt us, soo--- unfortunate leading to a possible break down of the family. I have felt about writing about this situation which relates to others who have walked away, went thru the trama of the breakdown of the family,ending in divorce and hate. <I was so distressed and saddened with hearing the various writers on this service who are, have, or might separate and or moved into separate living quarters. I just did not want to become a staticic. I tried my faith route. I tested my religious background to see if prayer, faith and practice would help and so far the results have been so blessed so curing, healing. so calming. I am never alone beause I am on auto pilot, the Holy Spirit is with me. How do I know? Because I prayed to have this happen,to give over and I would do what was asked. In addition I could relate so many wonderful things that have happened to me these last 5 years, in the living of" MY Troubles", as I refer to them. Parkinsons disrupted my life, it because a cause for me to get a cure. However, with the events I have listed. I found Parkinsons had to take a back seat.I stopped praying for myself for a cure. there are more important things to do. The nurthuring, a job under the title of mother or mothering is on going. It is------once you are a parent, you are a parent forever. My life as a wife and mother is a career I am very fortunate to have had. It is hard work. Like a mother bird so devoted to sitting on the nest, feeding and teaching to fly her young. This devotion is the stuff that is so powerful. We are our brothers keeper and we need to love our neighbors. There is nothing else as powerful as this. ------ money can not purchase this------- but giving of our selves can. I believe the giving of ourselves can solve the impossible. And if needed I can relate to you the various things that have occurred during the times when I was so down that picked me up and gave me the energy to contimue to follow thru. L&K S Translated L___LOVE & ----and K-----kisses S---Stephanie Referencing our earlier correspomdance I would like you to identify me as L&K S