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 (This is not meant to offend any cowboy or cook.)

COWBOY FRUIT CAKE


You'll need the following: a cup of water, a cup of sugar, four large
brown eggs, two cups of dried fruit, a teaspoon of salt, a cup of brown
sugar, lemon juice, nuts, and a bottle of whiskey.

Sample the whiskey to check for quality.  Take a large bowl.  Check the
whiskey again.  To be sure it's the highest quality, pour one level cup
and drink.  Repeat.  Turn on the electric mixer, beat one cup of butter
in a large fluffy bowl.  Add one teaspoon of sugar and beat again.

Make sure the whiskey is still okay.  Cry another tup.  Turn off the
mixer.

Beat two leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.

Mix on the tuner.  If the fired druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry
it loose with a drewscriver.

Sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticity.  Next, sift two cups of
salt. Or something.  Who cares?  Check the whiskey.  Now sift the lemon
juice and strain your nuts.  Add one table.  Spoon.  Of sugar or
something. Whatever you can find.

Grease the oven.  Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees.  Don't forget to
beat off the turner.  Throw the bowl out of the window.  Check the
whiskey again and go to bed.