my dear cyber-dad-don you wrote: >... i talked to my baby and about the money. >i shall use it as it is entened for. ... and it's a good thing, too! >i was afraid you did not have the money to spare. 'anonymous' told me he/she/they were not 'rich', but was/were inspired by your own generosity, despite your not being 'rich' either [of course, in this context, the term 'rich' only applies to the monetary type of wealth] >... she could make at least 3t04 times... >... med care ss. is all i get now. but still happy... sounds to me like your daughter has inherited your 'strange' ideas of wealth >... abouut giveing and what comes back. >... i could never ask for help for my self ony others even god. from all my reading about clinical depression [CD] i have been struck by the pervasiveness of 'negative thinking' [NT] in our so-called 'civilized' western society i have caught myself in the 'all or nothing' attitude trap when i have tended to look on all negative thinking exclusively as a symptom of a larger problem: cd in the same way that all sufferers of pd don't have cd i now realize that all sufferers of 'nt' don't have cd so, when you say you 'could never ask for help for myself' i wonder if the background to that might be the brain/washing/staining we have all been exposed to? e.g.: "don't be selfish" "i don't deserve it" "men are the strong ones" "it is better to give than to receive" "if you ask for help, you are admitting defeat/weakness" >... sis i smoke as my nero said to about 15 aday. >some of your med reports go way over my head. >but keep it up... lucky for you, i will restrain myself from commenting on your smoking! but that little flurry of PubMed reports that i posted this morning were just the most recent additions to PubMed for the last week and just because i post them does not mean i understand them all either! but i will keep it up, for two reasons: 1. even if you and i can't understand them all, our neuros will [i hope!] 2. posting them means that they automatically become part of our archives >... do no surfing. >vivian says it has help me >but i am not who she married. >i forget so much any more... *** lecture alert *** whaddya mean you're not who vivian married? of course you are! you are the same being, with the same heart, the same soul that drew her to you at the beginning the only thing that is different is that old 'body-bag' of chemicals that you live in doesn't make any difference whether you've lost a brain cell [or two] or a limb [or two] you are still the goofy guy she exchanged vows with all those years ago if your roles were reversed, do you think you would love her any less? *** end of lecture *** with love your feisty [as usual] cyber-sis janet janet [log in to unmask]