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> THE BEST OF THE WORST COUNTRY-WESTERN SONG TITLES > (Yes, these are REAL) > > 1. Drop Kick, Me, Jesus, Through the Goalposts of Life. > 2. Get Your Biscuits In the Oven and Your Buns in the Bed > 4. Her Teeth Were Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure. > 5. How Can I Miss You if you Won't Go Away? > 6. How Can You Believe Me When I Say I Love You When You Know I've > Been A Liar All My Life? > 8. I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life. > 9. I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself or Go Bowling. > 10. I Fell in a Pile of You and Got Love All Over Me. > 12. I Keep Forgettin; I Forgot About You. > 14. I Would Have Wrote You a Letter, But I Couldn't Spell Yuck! > 15. I Wouldn't Take Her to the Dawg Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win. > 16. I'd rather have a Bottle in front of me than a Frontal Lobotomy. > 17. I'm just a bug on the windshield of life. > 18. I'm the only hell mama ever raised. > 19. I've been flushed from the bathroom of your heart. > 20. I've got the hungries for your love and I'm waiting in your > welfare line. > 22. If love were oil, I'd be a quart low. > 23. If my nose were full of nickels, I'd blow it all on you. > 24. If you don't leave me alone, I'll go find someone else who will. > 25. If you leave me, can I come too? > 26. Mama get the hammer (There's a fly on Papa's head.) > 27. My every day silver is plastic. > 29. My John Deere was breaking your field, While your Deer John was > breaking my heart. > 30. My Wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him. > 31. Oh, I've got hair oil on my ears and my glasses are slipping down, > but baby I can see through you. > 33. She got the gold mine and I got the shaft. > 34. She got the ring and I got the finger. > 35. She made toothpicks out of the timber of my heart. > 36. She's got freckles on her, but she's pretty. > 37. Thank God and Greyhound she's gone. > 38. They may put me in prison, but they can't stop my face from > breaking out. > 39. Velcro Arms, Teflon Heart. > 40. When you leave, walk out backwards, so I'll think you're walkin' > in. > 41. You can't have your Kate and Edith too. > 42. You can't roller skate in a buffalo herd. > 43. You done tore out my heart and stomped that sucker flat. > 44. You were only a splinter as I slid down the bannister of life. > 45. You're the reason our kids are so ugly. >