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>Hm, I don't really know how to handle this... You might remember that I >told you about meeting a woman this past summer, and that she didn't seem >to mind my being ill? Well, then we both thought it was MS, and that was >OK by her. When I wrote her and said that it was PD, she broke down >completely. My letter was written in a positive mood, and I really think >this is better: there are pills that help against the symptoms, and a lot >of research going on. But for her this was worse than MS, because her >grandfather died when she was 11, and he had been very handicapped during >the last years. So for her PD is something terrible! You know, it's not >easy for a child to have a nuanced(?) image of an illness, no matter >which... Those images often stay with us as we grow older. SNIPPED >So, how am I going to make her understand that there is hope? I mean, I >_do_ intend to listen to her. I will not tell her that she is stupid to >be worried, because she has every right to be. Plus, if she hadn't >worried, _I_ would have been a bit worried, I think.... Her worrying >shows that she truly cares for me. I just hope her love is strong enough >to survive this. If she leaves me I don't know what to do. >Ok, I won't kill myself over it, but it would be one of the worst >possible things that could happen.... To make matters worse, she hasn't >written a single word to me since the desperately unhappy letter I >recieved 4-5 days ago. > >/John. John--waiting this out is terribly hard! But it sounds like she needs time to adjust her thinking--and of course her feelings--to the new situation. She is apparently reacting, as you say, by projecting onto you now the painful experiences of the past with her grandfather. Sounds like the things you have done are the best way to handle it--helping her "reframe" her concepts of what PD is like NOW--I hope you'll get that call SOON--hang in there! Camilla Flintermann, CG for Peter 79/8 Oxford, OH [log in to unmask] * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Ask me about the CARE list for* * Parkinson's caregivers ! * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *