hi john
you've had several responses to your message
a couple of things jumped out at me as i read them...
you wrote:
>... I told you about meeting a woman this past summer,
>and that she didn't seem to mind my being ill? ...
i don't mean this to cause you more anxiety
but is there a possibility
that maybe her feelings have changed since the summer romance ?
that maybe her reaction to the pd is an 'out' for her ?
... just trying out alternative ideas ...
>she's in Israel working, and I'm in Sweden.
>Only means of contact: letters.
>I sent her a letter this past Friday, with my number in it and
>an "order" to call me Collect Call as soon as she gets the letter.
[a side note to barb mallut:
i think by 'order' john is referring to
something like a 'money order' which can be used for a phone call
i don't think he meant that he was 'demanding' that she call him]
>I enclosed a short explanation of what Parkinson's is,
>and a newsclipping describing a new research project that
>sounds promising. (I found them at www.parkinsons.org, I think)
>So, how am I going to make her understand that there is hope?
you cannot 'make her understand'
all you can do is present information to her
and allow her to digest it and make up her own mind
there is always hope
but the situation with pd now is at its brightest ever
the volume/variety of research
that is currently going on worldwide
pharmacologically as well as surgically, and
at the molecular/cellular level is simply phenomenal
it's been growing at an exponential rate for the past five to ten years
mostly thanks to a similar growth surge in technology
[from my viewpoint, anyway]
>I mean, I _do_ intend to listen to her.
>I will not tell her that she is stupid to be worried,
>because she has every right to be.
i have every right to my feelings, as all of us do,
but if they are based on a false premise or a distorted viewpoint
then they are invalid and unjustified
and potentially harmful
when i first had symptoms three or four years before being diagnosed
i was terrified that i was ill with something 'really serious' like MS [!]
i scared myself silly to the point where i was afraid to go to a doctor
to find out once and for all what the heck was wrong
were those fears of mine valid?
not at all
they were based on ignorance and 'catastrophizing'
after diagnosis and after learning more about pd
the fear has vanished
i remain hopeful and even excited about the future
i agree wholeheartedly with sonia:
>...BUT John, let her find herself because
>IF she is the right girl for you she will tell you...
and with camilla:
>... waiting this out is terribly hard!
>But it sounds like she needs time to adjust her thinking
>-- and of course her feelings -- to the new situation ...
and with barb:
>... she should think about HERSELF
>before she thinks about YOU ...
it strikes me right now
that the reverse of this applies to you
you have to think of yourself first as well
if she still loves you, great...
but your happiness cannot be dependent on her [or anyone else] loving you
-----
as novices
we think we're entirely responsible
for the way people treat us
i have long since learned
that we are responsible
only for the way we treat people
rose lane
-----
your [co-novice] cyber-sibling
janet
janet [log in to unmask]
