Hi again, Janet.
> >that kind of a man. I wouldn't DREAM of actually commanding someone.
> john, your command of english is admirable
> much, much better than my command of swedish!
> and, look, there is that darn 'command' word again!
Hehe, it's hard to avoid, isn't it?
Thank you for the kind words.
> in letters, you have the opportunity/benefit of time and reflection
> while in phone calls, the 'adrenaline' of the immediate emotion
> can be either a help or a hindrance
Yeah, but I do think it is more help than hindrance in this case. I don't
think either Esther or I (should it be neither-nor??) hide anything when we
write to each other, but talking on the phone will definitely let us
interact in a more direct way. Emotions are very welcome. The delay that
we are suffering now is just too much. A letter takes between 3-7 days to
reach Israel from Sweden, and then she writes her response and mails it
to me, which takes another 3-7 days....
> no, john, that is not how you sounded to me
> now it is my problem to explain what i meant!
> i did not echo your use of the word 'make'
> because i thought it too forceful sounding, rather,
> emphasizing the idea that one cannot create or induce
> understanding in someone else's brain
> whew!
Alright. Now I understand you! No offence taken, I promise.
> if you said 'help her to understand' ???
That would have been more appropiate, yes.
> >She cares about me, and actually she says that she wants
> >to share her life with me whatever it will be like.
> >I just didn't take that in when reading about her fear.
> aha! that sounds wonderful!
> maybe your own fears blinded your vision a bit
> as you were reading about her fears ?!?
Yeah, I think that's so. Emotions do strange things to us all, eh?
> >...It would be fantaastic if she really wants me,
> >but I know I can live by myself and have a good life
> >even if she doesn't. ...
>
> that sounds very positive!
> that's one of the things i have learned recently
> we can only truly learn how to love others
> after we have learned to love ourselves
It is something you hear people say over and over again, but it takes
time for the truth of it to "sink in" into our minds.
Isn't it strange, that we spend our lives learning about life? I mean, I
am 28, with just over a month left to my 29th birthday, and I feel like I
just have _started_ to grasp this mystery called life. Perhaps I am lucky
to have this budding insight, some people do not seem to think about life
at all, they somehow seem to take it all for granted.
(Do I make any sense at all?)
How do the rest of you out there feel about life? Have your PD changed
your views?
Hugs to you all, and thank you for helping me.
/John (28/0)
--
Enigma is what makes life a constant seduction.
- Alisa Lowden
