hi john you wrote: >... I don't think either Esther or I (should it be neither-nor??) you have a choice of "i don't think either esther or i..." or "i think neither esther nor i..." >... but talking on the phone will definitely let us >interact in a more direct way. Emotions are very welcome. as little richard has been known to say "good golly, miss molly!" one of my 'pet' subjects in my posts to this cyber-family has been in re communication difficulties between women and men from the point of view that, in this culture [north american? 'western'?] as a broad generalization, women are more comfortable [and men are not] in dealing with emotions/connections and men are more comfortable [and women are not] in dealing with assertiveness/action >> ... maybe your own fears blinded your vision a bit >> as you were reading about her fears ?!?... >...Yeah, I think that's so. Emotions do strange >things to us all, eh?... emotions are what separate us from other mammals they comprise the essence of our humanity and i believe that they most frequently are a result of instinctive cognition rather than intellectual cognition so they may seem 'mysterious' at times >> ... we can only truly learn how to love others >> after we have learned to love ourselves ... >... It is something you hear people say over and over again, >but it takes time for the truth of it to "sink in" into >our minds ... i believe that there is frequently confusion between 'self-esteem', or 'self-love' and 'selfishness' viz: m. scott peck further along the road less traveled: "self-love implies the care, respect, and responsibility for and the knowledge of the self. without loving one's self, one cannot love others. but do not confuse self-love with self-centredness." >Isn't it strange, that we spend our lives learning >about life? I mean, I am 28, with just over a month >left to my 29th birthday, and I feel like I just >have _started_ to grasp this mystery called life. john, i've been around for twenty years longer than you and i feel i have just started to grasp a tiny part of the mystery! i suspect that the challenge of the mystery is the more you learn the more you learn how much more there is to learn! >perhaps I am lucky to have this budding insight, >some people do not seem to think about life at all, >they somehow seem to take it all for granted. >(Do I make any sense at all?) you make a lot of sense to me i feel that pd has been given to me as a 'wake-up' call and forced me to take a good long look at my life and myself a lot of people don't want to do that because it's a lot of hard work >Hugs to you all, and thank you for helping me. hugs back, and thanks as well the helping here is bi-directional! your cyber-sis janet ps i love this quote! > Enigma is what makes life a constant seduction. > - Alisa Lowden janet [log in to unmask]