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Linda - I have carefully read your cry for help. I share your distress. I am 64 in February and I have had pd for 15 years. Please don't feel so guilty. I certainly won't want my wife and children to chastise themselves and load themselves with guilt after my death [not soon, I pray]. Life is to be celebrated, not mourned. Grieve for your father[that's appropriate] but not for yourself. Your father's funeral should be a celebration of his life. As I get older the truth of that becomes more evident, and at the same time the effort and will required to push the keys and put it on paper gets harder and harder. Blessings, - George.