Dear Linda, Please don`t blame yourself. I`m sure you have been a wonderful daughter to your father, if not you would never write this very touching and cry for help. As you are feeling now my dear is what I felt when my beloved husband died from a heart attack 10 years ago only 51 years old, he had suffered for 5 years.I cared for him all the time and sometimes I was tired and lost my temper - had I done enough?? Today I know both you and I have done our very best. It is the human nature to doubt, the best help I got was from my GD and my priest. You are in my thoughts and I`ll pray for you. Best wishes Sonia N Denmark ---------- > Fra: Barbara Patterson <[log in to unmask]> > Til: Multiple recipients of list PARKINSN <[log in to unmask]> > Emne: hi (fwd) > Dato: 30. december 1997 01:45 > > ---------- Forwarded message ---------- > Date: Tue, 30 Dec 1997 00:37:00 -0500 > From: Linda <[log in to unmask]> > To: [log in to unmask] > Subject: hi > > I hope I am writing to the correct address, I see you are one of the > owners of the parkinson's list.I just joined.I cant wait to get the > mail. > > Please forgive me but i am very grief stricken. My dad suffered with > parkinson's for almost 10 years that we know of. Friday,Dec. 26th he had > cardiac arrest and died.I miss him terriably. I am also very gulit > ridden, I often lost patience with him and I am just beside myself in > pain and self hatred. I just loved him so much. My mom and my brother > and i watched him go from a strong independant man to a frail, almost > helpless dependant man. he was only 66. I just miss him horriably. > > the shock of him going so fast is very painful. he was doing his > physical thearphy at the PT clinic which he loved.We could see he was > doing so much better. He did it 3 times a week. He had just finished his > 4 laps around the in side of the building (He walked) and sat down . He > said he didnt feel good and slumped over.The family was not there. I > wish so much i could of said goodbye.They worked on him for 42 mins at > ER but were not able to bring him back. > > can you help me ? Can you or someone else tell me if parkinsons caused > his heart to arrest ? He had 3 angioplasies in a few months time 9 years > ago, but there was no heart problems at his last check up a couple of > months ago. Does parkinsons cause the heart muscle to lose the ablity > to function ? Dad was on a depression med,cardizim and of course the > sentiment.....he had trouble with eldapryl, it made him make a lot of > facial movements.....he also did not have the tremors,but he was very > stiff, mask- like stare, quite speech patterns, stooped > over,halluicanations, however, we had noticed he was so much better in > the last few weeks. Is this the way it happens in parkinson's ? Does > death come suddenly ? > > I am so sorry to go on and on, it was really a shock to lose him like > this.I m hoping this wonderful list will give me comfort and answers. > oh yes, we donated his eyes, they could not take anything else because > of his parkinsons.The funeral is Monday , I am trying to be strong. > please write soon, > Linda