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>From: Linda <[log in to unmask]> >Please forgive me but i am very grief stricken. My dad suffered with >parkinson's for almost 10 years that we know of. Friday,Dec. 26th he had >cardiac arrest and died.I miss him terriably. I am also very gulit >ridden, I often lost patience with him and I am just beside myself in >pain and self hatred. I just loved him so much. My mom and my brother >and i watched him go from a strong independant man to a frail, almost >helpless dependant man. he was only 66. I just miss him horriably. v Hi Linda I cannot ease your pain - nor would I, because it's part of the proper process of saying goodbye to your dad. But, maybe this thought will help: He went fast. To my mind that has to be the best way. Be happy for him, while you grieve for yourself, that he didn't have to go on and on getting increasingly unable. I have told my family that I am grabbing life with both hands, while Parkinson's still lets me. I still play squash (badly) and if I die of a heart attack on court, that will suit me! I still ride a push-bike, often for quite long distances, and I tire myself out doing it: at least that tells me I AM still alive! And if I should fall under a bus, all I hope is that it's quick! Any quick death is preferable to a long lingering one! Keep your chin up. If you were impatient with your dad, at least you did him the courtesy of still treating him as a person! -- Jeremy Browne - [log in to unmask] Hampshire, UK