Dear Jim When your letter came through the list, and Den showed it to me, it was a reassuring confirmation,that I wasn't imaginating things myself. I suppose that 'reassuring' isn't maybe the best word, because as a result of peoples treatment, I don't feel reassured at all! It was amazing that your post came through a matter of hours after we had been discussing the very same thing. It had occurred to me for some time, months, maybe longer, that people just don't 'see' Den. They see him but don't really SEE him.Your description of a 'Jim shaped blob' is sadly accurate but very true. Den doesn't have to shave off a beard not to be noticed by some people - he just stands there and isn't seen,or worse, is seen but not acknowledged as a thinking , functioning, human being. That very day you wrote I ran into someone who I hadn't seen for a while. Den was right at my shoulder- just standing. She fixed a gaze on me and conversed, actively avoiding any eye contact with Den, (who she knew) I wondered when she was going to ask him how he was (not feeling that I should point out the fact) - since when I'd seen her in the past she would ask how he was, but it never happened. I must confess that it bothered me, but Den said well 'that's how some people are.' I said 'why must it be?' . There are ads around that promote giving sufferers of mental illness a go, you know, 'see the person not the problem', but people don't, you know. Some friends of ours (he has parks) went into a shop for a watch. .He asked what they had (he was dyskinetic) and the shop assistant asked THE WIFE, " What sort of watch would he like?" (I ask you!!!) "Not one from this shop anyway," he said,and they left!! I know in my hearts of hearts that it is the other people's problem, they are uncomfortable, uneasy, etc. but I don't feel any better,and I don't suppose other sufferers/carers do either. You have touched a spot here. Thank you. I think that what is sad is that everybody has something to offer, and because of a disability which prevents some being 'read' as they rightly should be, their life is a bit like being on a carousel - travelling around ( like everybody else), seeing the fair (like everybody else), but because you can't be 'seen' they don't slow it down enough to let you get off and have a go and maybe win at something down at the fair, and, let's face it everyone should be welcome at the fair!!! Oh yes,(good luck at the bank!!!) Jo, CG for - ************************************************* Dennis Greene 48/10 [log in to unmask] http://members.networx.net.au/~dennisg/ **************************************************