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Dear Jo, Yesterday I visited my neuro at the hospital and met two good friends the man is a pwp and his wife the cg. Everytime I asked her husband "how are you doing today Peter" she replyed "he is doing very well". All that time we sat together about half an hour he didn`t got opportunity to asnswer me, because his wife "took over" every time he tried to go into the conversation. I was really frustrated when I left my friends, because I didn`t dare to tell the wife "please let Peter talk for himself". Best wishes Sonia ---------- > Fra: Dennis Greene <[log in to unmask]> > Til: Multiple recipients of list PARKINSN <[log in to unmask]> > Emne: A posting from Jo, re: Invisibility > Dato: 8. januar 1998 09:42 > > Dear Jim > > When your letter came through the list, and Den showed it to me, it > was a reassuring confirmation,that I wasn't imaginating things > myself. I suppose that 'reassuring' isn't maybe the best word, > because as a result of peoples treatment, I don't feel reassured at > all! > > It was amazing that your post came through a matter of hours after we > had been discussing the very same thing. It had occurred to me for > some time, months, maybe longer, that people just don't 'see' Den. > They see him but don't really SEE him.Your description of a 'Jim > shaped blob' is sadly accurate but very true. Den doesn't have to > shave off a beard not to be noticed by some people - he just stands > there and isn't seen,or worse, is seen but not acknowledged as a > thinking , functioning, human being. > > That very day you wrote I ran into someone who I hadn't seen for a > while. Den was right at my shoulder- just standing. She fixed a gaze > on me and conversed, actively avoiding any eye contact with Den, > (who she knew) I wondered when she was going to ask him how he was > (not feeling that I should point out the fact) - since when I'd seen > her in the past she would ask how he was, but it never happened. I > must confess that it bothered me, but Den said well 'that's how some > people are.' I said 'why must it be?' . There are ads around that > promote giving sufferers of mental illness a go, you know, 'see the > person not the problem', but people don't, you know. > > Some friends of ours (he has parks) went into a shop for a watch. > .He asked what they had (he was dyskinetic) and the shop assistant > asked THE WIFE, " What sort of watch would he like?" (I ask you!!!) > "Not one from this shop anyway," he said,and they left!! > > I know in my hearts of hearts that it is the other people's problem, > they are uncomfortable, uneasy, etc. but I don't feel any better,and > I don't suppose other sufferers/carers do either. You have touched a > spot here. Thank you. I think that what is sad is that everybody > has something to offer, and because of a disability which prevents > some being 'read' as they rightly should be, their life is a bit > like being on a carousel - travelling around ( like everybody else), > seeing the fair (like everybody else), but because you can't be > 'seen' they don't slow it down enough to let you get off and have a > go and maybe win at something down at the fair, and, let's face it > everyone should be welcome at the fair!!! > > Oh yes,(good luck at the bank!!!) > > Jo, CG for - > > ************************************************* > Dennis Greene 48/10 > [log in to unmask] > http://members.networx.net.au/~dennisg/ > **************************************************