Bob C. said:
Jim, I think that Barb was asking, "what do you do if you don't have someone
like your wife to CARE for and about you?"
You're right on the beam, Bob, tho I don't want to particularly make a CAREER
of "mate hunting." <grin> In fact based upon a successful 15 year singles
life full of singles events, that single's scene with it's frenetic and
constant searching for the right "connection" kinda makes me wanna throw-up at
the thought of being a part of it all again. I'm also not feeling good enough
to go out several nites a week in order to attend an endless round of rather
empty events in the HOPE of meeting one special individual. It was fun THEN,
but exhausting, and I tire much easier - both physically AND mentally NOW.
I'd prefer to rebuild a solid base of female AND male FRIENDS again, as many
of my pre-7-day-a-week-workweek friends have moved out of state, or remarried,
or just plain drifted away while I was working all the time. Ya can't beat
the special relationship that comes with friendship and friends STAY while so
many dates seem to pass thru one's life.
Also, I recognize that as a 55 year old woman WITH Parkinson's, THAT will
cause a single male to think twice before getting emotionally involved,
whereas friends don't look at that necessarily as a personal threat to their
future relationship with a PWP.
The bottom line is while I'd LIKE to remarry, I recognize that romantic love
isn't just going to fall right into my lap. It may never happen (oh boy..
THAT was hard to say!). Since personally, I'd never marry JUST to end up
with a potential full-time caregiver (and I'm not need for one right now, but
DO have a degenerative neurological disease), how best does one prepare for a
future which may NOT - however much one would like it - include a
spouse/caregiver.
Barb Mallut
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----------
From: Parkinson's Information Exchange on behalf of Bob C
Sent: Sunday, January 11, 1998 1:37 AM
To: Multiple recipients of list PARKINSN
Subject: Re: Invisible PWP/LONG Response to Ken
-----Original Message-----
From: Jim Slattery <[log in to unmask]>
To: Multiple recipients of list PARKINSN <[log in to unmask]>
Date: Sunday, January 11, 1998 12:25 AM
Subject: Re: Invisible PWP/LONG Response to Ken
>>I guess I'm asking a lot of questions here... and more keep
>popping into my
>>mind. But basically, what this experience did was make me
>very conscious of
>>the fact there are lots of PWPs withOUT a Camilla or a
>Vivian or a Michel to
>>care FOR them as well as ABOUT there. What do we do if
>we're in that
>>position? (feeling like I've opened a "personal can of
>worms," here?)
>
>
>Hi Barb,
>
>Believe me, I thank God every day for the love and care
>given me by my dear wife.
>I don't know what I would do without her, and I shudder to
>think.
>
>I do my best to let her know how much I appreciate her. As
>Joy Graham wrote hereabouts, although people might ask the
>carergiver how the PWP is, they often forget to ask how the
>caregiver is. So I take good care to let others know how I
>feel about her, in her presence.
>
>Jim 58/12
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>
Jim, I think that Barb was asking, "what do you do if you don't have someone
like your wife to CARE for and about you?"
I think you should sink into a deep depression <for about thirty
minutes>,
Wallow in self pity <until it is time to go to bed>
Get up the next morning and then go find someone you can share life with and
grow to care about one another.
This advice comes to you from one who has been married three times <each
time better than the last>, loves women and loves LOVE.
The only thing I can't tell you is HOW IN THE HELL DO YOU DO ALL OF THIS ?
Thank God I am lucky enough to have found <finally> the right one.
Keep on Keeping on, if you haven' been as fortunate YET.
Bob Chapman
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