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Jack Noble asked about assisted living... my/my mom's experience with assisted living may be helpful. you'll be surprised how far an hour of specific assistance can go when it's just a few thoughtful minutes here and there. In a nutshell, we toured a lot of places, chose one that seemed bustling and had possibility for $ subsidy (tho' waiting list). Turned out to be a disaster - the emphasis was on withholding assistance - the corporate philosophy seemed to be to do as little as possible. food was institutional, repairs never made, written info was wrong or outdated, schedule for aides was rigid, no referral info when additional assistance was obviously needed and asked for, much of bustling activity turned out be staff sitting around talking to each other, contradictory policies. actually lasted there less than 3 weeks - after series of falls & bad one that sent her to rehab hospital. after 2 months recovering, mom recently moved to different assisted living place. been there a month now and difference is like night and day. new place appears much quieter on first impression, but the assisters turn out to be much MUCH more helpful, calling doctor, visiting nurse, pharmacist when necessary . Another big difference is that new place doesn't require rigid care schedule - they don't even charge for extra time unless it becomes a regular thing. We originally scheduled several areas of assistance - getting up, washing up, getting dressed in am, reverse at bedtime, medication reminders, arranging medical escorts to doctors. Now mom's declining much help with getting up and dressing, still gets help w/shower and med-schedule. So now she's using less scheduled assistance, but they really jumped in when needed. Can't say I know how to be sure, but here's some suggestions: 1) talk to nursing staff, not just marketing /sales person. 2) look for flexibility. 3) double check questions that are important - if they offer service orally, check to see that it's in writing (in lease and handbook/manual) as well. if it's in writing, ask somebody to confirm it orally. 4a) understand that assisted living is not nursing care, but 4b) look for referrals to/relationships with (and sign up in advance with) outside nursing/therapy agency (don't feel locked into their referrals) 5) cultural activities 6) other resident PWP's. ask to talk to them. let me know if you have any other questions. (btw, list, thanks all for input re: mom's nausea, it seems to be subsiding.) emily ([log in to unmask]) for mom/Ruth (76/6 months dx)