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Thanks for the helpful replies to my question about assisted living, including
the several that came off-list.  Their overriding message is to ask more
questions and then beat the bushes to find accurate answers (e.g., don't just
rely on the marketing department). I now realize I've been making too many
assumptions about the retirement centers I've been visiting.
  Another message, especially important for those of us whose extended
families are not participating in the search, is that there are social workers
with specialized experience who are available to join people like me in
searching out solutions to the assisted living puzzle.
  It is always heartening to learn again that the list comes through.  Jack
Noble, Washington, DC