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My mother was in a Nursing hom for several years. At first she hated it, but came to realize that she was "safer" there than at home. Her strong spirit endeared her to the staff. To add support, I called,wrote and went to see her as often as I could (she was in a different town-about 5 hours from here. ( I am from Texas where we judge distance in hours, not miles) Whatever,a her grandchildren did the same. My sister who lives in Canada came as ofter as she could. In other words we gave her all the support she could absorb. I too thought she was going to attact the physical therapest. However he knew what he was dealing with and was able to help her a great deal. It is a difficult transition, but the results are better than leaving her at home without trained help. It simply takes a lot of time. After all of this the advice is call, send cards and sometimes flowers. Take birthday cakes and gifts and share with the rest of the patients. Even though, she was sometimes "out of it" all of this helped and kept her in touch with reality as much asa possible. Even when she couldn't remember who was who, we just told her who we were and went about out visit. It truley helps make a bad siitutation better. the nursing home personnel told me that many of their patients were almost deserted, probably because relatives could not look at the situtation or did not know what to do. I think our family improved her quality of life to a great extent. It takes very little time and does so much. She died more than 2 years ago and I still miss getting her things--outrageous costume jewerly for one thing. I just hope I grow older with so much spirit--even it I bite someone. If she did not get her medications on time, I simply complained until they gave them. The staff was very busy, but extended themselves to a family that cared a great deal. Even if you think you mother cannot understand etc., they understand more than we realize and mother actually improved and I think lived longer becausr of this. Nita Andres [log in to unmask]