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Dear Fellow Listees,
Hope you get as good a laugh as I did.

Jon Meyer 41/2 ([log in to unmask])
 another Hoosier

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<<  Beware of the following new viruses:
  PAT BUCHANAN VIRUS: Your system works fine, but complains
  loudly about foreign software.
  HILLARY CLINTON VIRUS: Files disappear, only to mysteriously
  reappear a year later in another directory.
  OJ SIMPSON VIRUS: You know it's guilty of trashing your
  system, but you just can't prove it.
  PAUL REVERE VIRUS: This virus doesn't horse around. Warns
  you of impending attack:
  ROSS PEROT VIRUS: Activates every component in your system
  just before the whole thing quits.
  DAN QUAYLE VIRUS: Thier is sumtheng rong with yure coputter,
  but yue cant fugyur outt watt!!
  GOVERNMENT ECONOMIST VIRUS: Nothing works, but all your
  diagnostic software says everything is fine.
  TEXAS VIRUS: Makes sure it's bigger than any other file in your
computer.
  ADAM AND EVE VIRUS: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.
  CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS: The computer locks up and the screen splits in
half
with the same message appearing on each side. The message says that the
blame
for the gridlock is caused by the other side.
  PBS VIRUS: Your program stops running every few minutes to ask for
money.
  ELVIS VIRUS: Your computer gets fat, slow, and lazy...then
self-destructs,
only to surface at shopping malls, coffee shops, and service stations
across
rural America.
  OLLIE NORTH VIRUS: Turns your printer into a shredder.
  SEARS AUTOMOTIVE VIRUS: Your data won't appear unless you buy
  new cables, battery and shocks.
  HEALTH CARE SYSTEM VIRUS: Tests your system for a day, finds nothing
wrong,
and sends you a bill for $4,500.
  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 --------- End forwarded message ----------