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> Now for the problem...the care manager (that's an oxymoron...) on his > case, is pushing us to seek a nursing home placement. My husband was at about the same stage when a social worker and rehab doctor at the urging of a Parkinson's program person "beat on" me (to use the modern term) to put him in a nursing home. Coincidentally it was our 30th anniversary and he was standing up and transferring with help. We argued at the nurses desk in the hospital for half an hour and I was yelling at them before they were done. Their argument was he had "so many neuological problems that you can't possibly take care of him at home." This same person did not give me basic home care information. (I didn't even know how much having a hospital bed could save my back) When I called about medical symptoms that needed the doctor's attention, I was told that I wasn't taking care of him properly before I was transferred to the doctor. When I asked questions, I was told that the caregiver's group couldn't help me. When I asked about day care for one day a week while I was taking a college course, I was told that he couldn't go to day care because he needed help going to the bathroom. She was trying to force me to do it. Thank goodness I had a very nice visiting nurse with home care. You can get a lot of information about care from a good nurse and/or health aide. I also talked to someone else who had kept her husband at home and decided that was what I would do. He stayed home with his family. We had home care and our 2 adult children have been very helpful and supportive. This is not for everyone and you have to make up your own mind. I personally don't like nursing homes for various reasons and could not have afforded it. There is a time when for many people a nursing home is an understandable option and the only option, but don't let someone push you into it before you're ready or if you don't want to do it. It is your decision and it can be made at any time. Note: Ethically, they are supposed to mention options like nursing homes, but are not supposed to push hard for it. I should not have had to go through what I did about this. It went past ethical. Marge Green [log in to unmask]