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Claire, First of all there is no such thing as a "stupid" question. All of us lack knowledge in many different areas. There is no stock answer to your question because how you deal with a Parkie depends to a great extent on how the Parkie is dealing with the disease. I divide the patient's reactions into four phases. 1) Denial, 2) Anger, 3) Resignation, and 4) Fight back. Some patients go through all four phases while others may experience only one (I went directly to phase 4). Following are my own general thoughts on how to deal with each phase. Denial -- not much can be done here, but people usually do not stay in this phase for long. Anger -- Also known as "Why me. God?". First goal is to help the patient manage the anger. Second goal is to help them realize that nobody is to blame. (Some people might put "Acceptance" here but acceptance can take the form of either of my next two phases.) Resignation -- This is a common phase, especially if depression is present. It is a feeling of hopelessness and the patient dwells more on what they can't do rather than on what they can do. The general guidelines for dealing with people with depression would be applicable here. Fight Back -- This is the phase that most of the members of this list are in. The main problem here is the differences between their "on" and "off" conditions. When I am on I can do almost everything I could before my PD symptoms became noticeable, yet when I am off I am practically a basket case. The hardest part for others is to know when to offer assistance and when not to. My family knows that if I really need assistance I will ask for it. At the same time, if they see that I am having difficulties I will not be offended if they go ahead and help. (I also explain this to others with whom I have more than occasional contact. The instructor I share an office with has become quite good at judging whether or not I need assistance.) I only have three other rules to apply: Love them, love them, and love them. To all you caregivers I extend my love and my heart-felt thanks. Bruce 56/9 Sinemet CR & Mirapex ======================= Bruce G. Warr, Ph.D. (C) Healthcare Informatics Laboratory Information Systems Department University of Maryland Baltimore County