Honorable Comrade with Parkinson's Disease ["HCPD"]:
Your edict was received as follows:
>>> Dennis Greene <[log in to unmask]> 01/22/98
10:00pm >>>
>>>From: Dennis Greene
Area Representative: Big Brother's Committee
for the Imposition of Meaningless Standards.
List Commissar for the Parkinson's List.
>>>Comrades.
It has come to our notice that the word Parkies and the
acronym PWP are still being used by some members of the
collective. This is in direct violation of Directive 794- 009858
-BBCIMS-918273645 which states:
"Members of the Parkinson's Disease collective will refere to
themselves and each other as Comrade(s) with Parkinson's
Disease at all times. No other terminology will be tolerated
with the exception of the phrase Comrade Hero(s) with
Parkinson's Disease for those comrades with 20 years or
more service." Comrades with Parkinson's Disease who
disregard this directive by using one or other of the
proscribed phrases will be deprived of Parkinson's Disease
symptoms for one year. No appeal will be considered.
Comrades with Parkinson's Disease who are so foolish as to
think that they can use either phrase subject to context, will
be deprived of Parkinson's Disease for life, and required to
leave the collective. Remember Comrades - BIG BROTHER
IS WATCHING.<<<
Honorable Commissar for the Parkinson's List:
The honorific of "Hero" doesn't allow for the variety and
breadth of the life situations of the CWPs in our Collective. I
respectfully suggest the following added designations:
"Paragon of Parkinson's" ["PP"] to denote a care giver . . .
"Benefactor of Parkinson's" ["BP"] to denote a care giver of
more than 20 years. . .
"Model Citizen of Parkinson's" ["MCP"] to denote a
long-time contributor to the Collective.
Comrade Commissar, please accept these suggestions
in a favorable light and do not take away my symptoms . . .
for, next to my toaster oven, my symptoms are the only
things in this modern world I can deal with.
Submitted with all due respect:
Comrade Stephan Schwartz 53/7
