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Mary rushes to Mark's defense!! While acknowledging the wisdom of Barb's barbs! Mark's Dad sounds a lot like my late Mom, and it is a MOST difficult balancing act for a son or daughter to be an effective cg for a parent who doesn't seem to be trying, I can vouch for that. There's no one tactic that works for everyone, an approach that works sometimes won't always, we're torn between acknowledging the reality of the parent's situation and determination to help him/her make the best of it.......aaaaaagggghhhhhh. Rita has already pointed out the length of time it takes for NH residents (or equivalently-disabled "civilians") to adjust to change. Mark, there's probably no harm in giving in to your Dad's need for TLC, at least in the short run while things sort themselves out. And then, with any luck, your Dad may respond better to a staff member (physical therapy aide, etc.) who "pushes" him than he does to you. That's kinda hard to take, but it's also ok. One of the hardest things for me to accept was Mom's fluctuations in ability -- like the walking/nonwalking you describe. I finally realized that at least some of her protestations were valid, at least some of the time, and I would have to live with that. Once in a while I could distract her into doing something she didn't think she could do; that worked better than direct requests. Was it manipulation? Maybe. Is that OK? Does the end justify the means? Mary