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Date: Fri, 13 Feb 1998 19:05:51 -0500 (EST)
From: Andrew Seth Becker <[log in to unmask]>
To: [log in to unmask]
cc: [log in to unmask], [log in to unmask], [log in to unmask],
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Subject: How to Annoy Other People (fwd)
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How to Annoy Other People
1. Leave the copy machine set to 99 copies, reduce 200%, extra
dark, 17 inch paper.
2. In the memo field of all your checks write "terrible service".
3. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go".
4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen
while talking to others.
5. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
6. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all
weather conditions to "keep them tuned up".
7. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and
insist to others you "like it that way".
8. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
9. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking"
noise.
10. Honk and wave at strangers.
11. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat the
complimentary mints by the cash register.
12. TYPE ONLY IN UPPER CASE.
13. type only in lower case.
14. Dont use any punctuation either
15. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole
streets.
16. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear
that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."
17. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
18. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom
of your chin. When nearly done, announce, "no, wait, I messed up."
And repeat.
19. Ask people what gender they are.
20. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a
parakeet.
21. Sit in your front yard pointing a hairdryer at passing cars to
see if they slow down.
22. Sing along at the opera.
23. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
24. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble
their answers in a notebook and mutter something about
"psychological profiles".
25. Tell your friends 5 days prior, that you can't attend their
party because you're not in the mood.
26. Send this email to everyone in your email address book even if
they sent it to you or have asked you not to send things like this.
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