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dear cyber-dad-don you wrote: > after reading the mail from the list family >i had a little pity party on myself. >i can't spell even with my speller >or put on paper what is in my heart for all pd's >janet, barb are just 2 of the family who can >maybe some day i will some day >love you all. >I.Y.Q. >DON&VIVIAN hmph! so you were feeling a little sorry for yourself just because you 'can't spell' or just because you think you can't express your feelings on paper? [um - cyber-paper?] maybe barb and i can express our feelings in a certain way but we are all unique and you express your feelings wonderfully in your own way [so many of us can find it so difficult to just figure out what we are feeling, let alone express them] as i wrote to you privately the other day: ------------------------------------------------- you have a very strong personality and a very mature and wise outlook on a lot of things so you should speak your mind you help a lot of people when you do even though you may not realize it everyone of us has a different and unique personal history what may seem 'normal' or 'average' to you may be unusual to someone else and vice versa i think you might have a tendency to criticize yourself too much like the majority of people [including me!] think of how jesus felt about little children he loved them for themselves just as they are not for anything they have done or not done that's the kind of love we need to learn to feel for ourselves that doesn't mean we should be egotistic or selfish but we need to be as kind and understanding and forgiving of ourselves as much as we would be towards anyone else it's a hard lesson to learn in our society which denigrates any idea of 'self-love' and i think it is especially hard for men with all the med changes you've been experiencing lately your brain chemistry has probably been affecting some of your perceptions but not so much that you are not aware of mr pd and mr don when they switch places! you manage to put a heck of a lot on paper but i think you 'pooh-pooh' your efforts because they are not perfectly spelled etc remember what i said about loving and forgiving yourself? do you think god cares about your spelling? no god cares about what is in your heart and intentions and i can't imagine a sweeter, kinder, or more loving heart than yours mr pd might just show up once in awhile specifically in order to make sure you appreciate mr don! worrying about whether mr pd shows up is a waste of energy like worrying when it rains or snows the sun always comes out eventually there's tons of stuff we don't understand and never will so what? life is a mystery all in itself all i know for sure is that we are here to learn and to love if we understood everything, there'd be nothing left to learn, would there? ------------------------------------------------- BTW = by the way, FWIW = for whatever it's worth, shedding tears isn't necessarily a sign of sadness it's a sign of strong emotion that needs to be released that emotion could be happiness, love, joy, fulfillment, gratitude et cetera et cetera et cetera sorry to repeat so much of my 'private message' to you but i always think there's no harm in a little repetitive redundancy love sis janet paterson 50-9 / sinemet-selegiline-prozac almonte-ontario-canada / [log in to unmask]