Just a few thoughts on coping with the need for retirement, & with other
situations, as well.
The comments made about one's career, if it has been a rewarding one, often
being a large aspect of a person's identity are certainly true, & I, too,
encourage those who must make this decision to find a way to continue using
his/her work experience in perhaps a redefined way.
I understand the position the husband of the caregiver who wrote is in. I,
too, when my symptoms became troublesome, was a successful manager. I had
been promoted to the position of Director of Social Work Services at a large
hospital, & was receiving many "attagirls" from the powers that be, from those
who I supervised, etc., & was on the verge of being promoted over additional
departments when I had to become honest with myself about my declining stamina
& increasing PD symptoms.
Came the time for redefining. I had always loved working therapeutically with
individuals & groups, so accepted an invitation to join a psychiatrist &
psychologist to do just that. For a couple of years I was able to function
well in that role, but again came the time when it was impossible to continue
& I had to let go. On the one hand it was very difficult; but on the other
hand it was such a relief to not push myself to meet obligations which,
although I loved, were beyond my endurance. I didn't realize what incredible
demands I was making upon my body until I stopped making them. It took my
body about 6 months to recover from the exhaustion that those demands had
caused.
Over time I've come to treasure every hour I can function, & consider very
carefully any activity which might rob me of one of those hours. Holding that
up against the 6 months lost to exhaustion -- what a waste of precious days!
When days are gone, they are gone. Because of this, I would encourage anyone
who is experiencing anything similar to resolve it before it robs you of any
piece of life available to you!
Redefining & refining is an ongoing process. At first I had found myself
asking:
How can I continue to work, but in a role that fits my current health status,
interests, etc. Then.......
What kind of life can I create that enriches my sense of being in the world
during the hours when I can function?
I still ask, & answer, that last question frequently. The answers for me are
probably different than they'd be for someone else, but I think the questions
are usually the same:
-- What was it IN my work & other parts of my life that made it rewarding?
How can I get these things in new ways?
-- What things have I left undeveloped in myself or my life because I didn't
have time for them, or wasn't aware of them? How can I develop those now?
(This has brought enjoyment to my days that I probably wouldn't have had the
opportunity to experience if I had gone on working -- one of the "gifts" of
PD)
-- How can I be of service to others now?
My heartfelt wishes for good days ahead to those who are struggling with the
many issues of chronic debilitating illness. It takes some effort, & it takes
some time, but you CAN make them more wonderful than you could imagine!
MDawn 55/6
