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I know I am about 4 days behind in reading my e-mail. But----- I am sitting here at 4:40AM unable to sleep, my left foot shaking, my mind running somewhere other than where I want to be, unable to go back to sleep, remembering the events of the past couple of days and swearing that I do not want any more. Then I read "A Terrible Beauty" and sat her crying. Sometimes I wonder how we all endure what is happening to us. My therapist says I MUST be careful about how much time I can do volunteer work for others. I am not capable of spending an 8 hour day, or even more than 2 hours, doing what some would think of as the simplest tasks. I go to my grandchildren's school to help them learn about computers and the internet. I cannot spend more than 1 hour at a time or I become tired, stiff, shaky, and even disoriented. I went to a parent meeting for Headstart [the 4 year old goes to centerbase] and after about a 1/2 hour I was shaking and found myself explaining to others that I had PD and could not stop the shaking until I went home and took more medication. It was embarrassing. I am only 49 years old. I know there are many younger than I am with worse symptoms, but this is happening to me. A month or so after my diagnosis [3 years ago April] a person who was trying to be friendly kept telling me about advances in medical help, surgery, and that there were so many people surviving with PD. I should not worry so about it. I found myself yelling at him, "Leave me alone. You do not know what it is about. This thing is inside MY body, not yours." I am very grateful for this list and this community of people who understand what I am talking about. I read all your letters and my heart goes out to each of you. I know that I cannot feel what you are feeling, but I do have real empathy for what you are going through. don't forget how to laugh (and do it often) Marling McReynolds [log in to unmask]