*AUTO-REPLY* Hi -- I can't come to the computer right now, but I'll be back by 3/30 and will respond to you then. Thanks! Lee On 03/22/98 4:01 PM, Automatic digest processor expostulated: >There are 17 messages totalling 951 lines in this issue. > >Topics in this special issue: > > 1. FW: Humor > 2. How to Join the CARE list > 3. Sleeping on the job (2) > 4. List instructions again! > 5. Do PWPs Have Nerve & Muscle Damage? (3) > 6. Parkinson's Information Exchange > 7. Knee Pads > 8. Balance and Exercise > 9. This List > 10. EXTRA ? (2) > 11. It actually happened. > 12. re-post: clinical depression [cd] part 1 > 13. re-post: clinical depression [cd] part 2 > >---------------------------------------------------------------------- > >Date: Sun, 22 Mar 1998 19:33:38 UT >From: Barbara Mallut <[log in to unmask]> >Subject: FW: Humor > >The following were winners in a magazine contest in which contestants >were to take a well-known expression in a foreign language, change a >single letter, and provide a definition for the new expression. > > >HARLEZ-VOUS FRANCAIS? - Can you drive a French motorcycle? > >EX POST FUCTO - Lost in the mail > >IDIOS AMIGOS - We're wild and crazy guys! > >VENI, VIPI, VICI - I came, I'm a very important person, I conquered. > >COGITO EGGO SUM - I think; therefore I am a waffle. > >RIGOR MORRIS - The cat is dead. > >RESPONDEZ S'IL VOUS PLAID - Honk if you're Scottish > >QUE SERA SERF - Life is feudal. > >LE ROI EST MORT. JIVE LE ROI - The king is dead. No kidding. > >POSH MORTEM - Death styles of the rich and famous. > >PRO BOZO PUBLICO - Support your local clown. > >MONAGE A TROIS - I am three years old. > >FELIX NAVIDAD - Our cat has a boat. > >HASTE CUISINE -Fast French food > >VENI, VIDI, VICE - I came, I saw, I partied. > >QUIP PRO QUO - A fast retort > >ALOHA OY - Love; greetings; farewell; from such a pain you should never >know. > >MAZEL TON - tons of luck > >APRES MOE LE DELUGE - Larry and Curly got wet. > >PORTE-KOCHERE - Sacramental wine > >ICH LIEBE RICH - I'm really crazy about having dough. > >FUI GENERIS - What's mine is mine. > >VISA LA FRANCE - Don't leave your chateau without it. > >CA VA SANS DIRT - And that's not gossip. > >MERCI RIEN - Thanks for nothin'. > >AMICUS PURIAE - Platonic friend > >L'ETAT, C'EST MOO - I'm bossy around here. > >COGITO, ERGO SPUD - I think, therefore I Yam. > >------------------------------ > >Date: Sun, 22 Mar 1998 14:29:13 -0500 >From: "Camilla H.Flintermann" <[log in to unmask]> >Subject: How to Join the CARE list > >ATTENTION new members of "Parkinsn" list -- this may interest you and >your CGs! >> >>>>>-----------------------***********************------------------------= ---- >>>>CARE (Caregivers Are Really Essential )is a sublist of the main PD list= , >>>>which is especially for caregivers (CGs) of Parkinsonians (PWPs). The = need >>>>for such a list was evident from feelings expressed on the PD list that >>>>there >>>>are times when CGs need to be able to "let off steam" in a place where = they >>>>will not upset their PWPs. Some of us have caregiver support groups, w= here >>>>we can safely express feelings, get practical support, and share experiences >>>>but some do not. The CARE list serves this need, but DOES NOT shut off= the >>>>participation of CGs on the main list. We operate through a listserv a= t >>>>Miami University, Oxford,Ohio. This is a closed list, meaning that CGs= who >>>>wish to join should send a request as follows: >>>> >>>>Address your COMMAND to: [log in to unmask] >>>> >>>>IN BODY of message (NOT on"SUBJECT" or "TO" lines) put ONLY: >>>> >>>> SUBscribe CARE your first and last names >>>> >>>>Do NOT use a signature. >>>> >>>>Instructions will then be sent to you as to how to proceed, when you >>>>have been >>>>added to the list. List "co-owners" are Jeff Jones and myself. The >>>>traffic on >>>>CARE is a lot less than on the main list, if this is a consideration. >>>>Welcome aboard! Questions? email me or Jeff: >>>> Camilla Flintermann <[log in to unmask]> >>>> >>>> Jeff Jones <[log in to unmask]> NEW ADDRESS! >>>> >>>> >>>>Camilla Flintermann, CG for Peter, 79/8, Oxford,Ohio >>>>[log in to unmask] >>>> >>>> * * * * * * * * * * * * * * >>>> "Ask me about the CARE list for PD caregivers!" >>>> * * * * * * * * * * * * * * >>>> >>> >> > >------------------------------ > >Date: Sun, 22 Mar 1998 13:31:05 -0600 >From: Arthur Hirsch <[log in to unmask]> >Subject: Sleeping on the job > >There is an article in today's Parade Magazine, which is distributed with >many newspapers in the United States, entitled, "Sometimes, It's Good To >Sleep on the Job." I couldn't find the article on the web, but some of us >may choose to cut it out to help prove that the nap that we (want to) take >for afternoon drowsiness in fact is (would be) a productive thing. > >Art > >Arthur Hirsch [] [log in to unmask] [] Lewisville, TX > ____________________________________________ > > Always Remember This: > Happiness Is Right, So Choose Happiness > ____________________________________________ > >------------------------------ > >Date: Sun, 22 Mar 1998 14:31:56 -0500 >From: "Camilla H.Flintermann" <[log in to unmask]> >Subject: List instructions again! > >Some members have apparently lost their instructions --It is very >>TIME-CONSUMING to have to repeat this info over and over--PLEASE KEEP >>THESE, because you WILL NEED THEM SOMETIME! THANKS--- CAMILLA (for Barb >>Patterson,listowner) >> >> >>Here are the basic instructions. For more info re: the PD list you might >>write to Barb Patterson, the listowner,at: <[log in to unmask]> >>----------------------------Original message---------------------------- >>Subject: Instructions for Parkinsn list(PLEASE SAVE) >> >>To join the list, send to the LISTSERV ADDRESS (in body of message) this >>command: subscribe parkinsn (your full name) >> >>The listserv address for this list is: >> >> [log in to unmask] >> >>The way to leave this list is to send the command to the listserv, and >>in the body of post (not on subject line) put: >> . >> signoff parkinsn >> >>If you need to be away, and want to halt mail TEMPORARILY, send this >>command to listserv address: set parkinsn nomail >>When you return, send this one: set parkinsn mail >> >>If you want to be on the digest, send: set parkinsn digest >> >>BE SURE to send these commands TO THE LISTSERV, not to the list (or to >>listowner >>Barbara Patterson or me, please if you can help it!) :-) >> >> >>Camilla Flintermann, CG for Peter, 79/8+, Oxford,Ohio >>[log in to unmask] >> >>* * * * * * * * * * * * * >>"Ask me about the CARE list for PD caregivers!" >>* * * * * * * * * * * * * >> > >------------------------------ > >Date: Sun, 22 Mar 1998 20:28:30 UT >From: Barbara Mallut <[log in to unmask]> >Subject: Do PWPs Have Nerve & Muscle Damage? > >Dear List-family... > >As of yesterday, I've been turned down yet another time in my efforts to b= e >declared eligible for Social Security Disability Insurance (SSDI). > >THIS decline was based (THIS time) upon the fact that I have no muscle or >nerve damage from the PD. In fact, as far as I know, in my 22 years of >living >with PD, I've NEVER had any muscle or nerve damage, but I HAVE had a whole >heckuva lotta OTHER uncomfortable and disabling symptoms. > >SSDI declares that "Yes," you have discomfort, but THAT isn't enough for y= ou >to be declared disabled. You are able to work at your former job of forum >manager." > >Uhhhhh.... the "discomfort" I can live with. It's some of the disabling >symptoms, such as memory loss, loss of use of my primary hand/foot, >dyskenesia >on my left side, and other non-visible but equally disabling symptoms that >cause me to be disabled. > >Am I mistaken in thinking that few, if any, Parkies suffer from actual >PD-caused muscle or nerve DAMAGE? (not including muscle atrophy from lack= of >ability to use those muscles). > >Your collective and respective opinions would be appreciated. > >And THANKS.... > >Barb Mallut >[log in to unmask] > >------------------------------ > >Date: Sun, 22 Mar 1998 17:17:56 -0400 >From: Sheldon/Linda McNeil <[log in to unmask]> >Subject: Parkinson's Information Exchange > >Mar.22,1998 >Dear Members , >We are writing to you out of desperation to see if you might be able to >help us or at the least give us some hints on where to go next. >My brother-in- law has been having noticable problems for over a year >and we are no closer to knowing what the problem is now than we were >when it started .His condition continues to get worse and we seem to be >at a dead end .Here is our story. >JAN1996 >Wayne loves music and loves to dance .He noticed a problem with rhythm >when dancing.His left side did not seem to want to move the way he >wanted it to .This did not happen all the time . > >He was being treated for a cardiac problem and was put on medication for >fibrilation at that time by his internist .(lanoxin and biquin dureles >and was later put on warfarin) >The internist also refered him to Halifax to see a cardiologist who he >saw in Dec 1996. On the basis of his MRI the cardiologist did not feel >he needed a cardiac catheterization .He was told he had pericarditis and >could continue on as before.He was very active.He played >hockey,bowled,danced,and worked fulltime at an office job. >He was taken off the warfarin before going to Halifax in anticipation of >the cadiac catheterization and resumed taking it when he came back home. > >FEB 1997 >Wayne noticed a slight stutter and this progressed quickly.It bacame >more frequent.Wayne consulted with his family doctor at that time who >felt it was from stress due to his heart problems.He did finally send >him back to the internist and by then Wayne was also having problems >with his balance at times. >Family and friends had long before noticed a change in his personality >and manner.He had been a very out going ambitious person who was always >the life of the party and the leader in everthing he undertook .He >became an observer ,spoke little and as time progressed took on less and >less unless his wife would go with him. > >Wayne was offered a early retirement package due to the downsizing of >the coal industry and he took it .This was not for medical reasons. >Wayne was referred to a speach therapist and an throat specialist for >his speech problem.They could find no physical reason for his speech >difficulty.The speech therapist gave him some methods to help him >correct the stuttering. > >DEC1997 >Wayne was referred to Halifax and saw a Cardiologist ,a Rhumatologist , >a Respirologist nad a Neurologist. >The neurologist felt that there was a neurological degenerative disorder >at this time and felt an MRI would give a better picture and more >information. >FEB 1997 >MRI was done in Halifax and the results were good.Nothing found.The >neurologist told them when questioned that it is not MS ,stroke >,anneurysm,tumor or any major problem of that sort.It was some >neurological degenerative problem. > >Wayne saw an ENT specialist in Halifax who said he could see any >problem. >He again saw the Respirologist who said there was some scar tissue in >the lung but he didn't see this as a problem with Wayne's breathing.He >ordered a CATscan and Wayne is still waiting to have that done. > >Wayne's condition continues to worsen .His walking gait is off,he tends >to round his shoulders and walk in small steps ,he is short of breath >and tires easily, the stuttering continues and his speaks very fast and >soft,has tremors at times though not often and not really very obvious >,his writing has become very small and hard to read and becomes more and >more dependent emotioally. > >After the tests his family doctor told him they really didn't know what >the problem was and that he is too old for MS and too young for >Parkinson's.He had no suggestions as to what to do next .He felt the >neurologist might know more if he saw him in 6 months.We are afraid with >his conditioning worsening that the waiting may be causing damage that >could be prevented.Even if there is nothing else that could be done we >feel that if we at least knew what we were dealing with it could help >emotionally. >At present his meds are Vasotec 5mg > Warfarin sodium 2mg > Sotolol 80 mg (replacing lanoxin and rythmol = > starting this month.) > Vit E >Wayne also has a sister age 55 or so who is now in a home because of >some form of dementia.Also information from some grand aunts lead us to >believe there may have been some neurological problems such as being off >balance in other generations.We do not know if there is any connection >but add it just in case . > >If ther is any suggestions you could make they would be greatly >appreciated. >Linda McNeil > >------------------------------ > >Date: Sun, 22 Mar 1998 16:16:40 -0500 >From: Ervin McCarthy <[log in to unmask]> >Subject: Knee Pads > >Lanny, >Clinton is asking for our prayers. He wants us all on our knees with >Lewinski. > >Ervin > >------------------------------ > >Date: Sun, 22 Mar 1998 14:35:26 -0700 >From: Shari & Larry Ward <[log in to unmask]> >Subject: Re: Do PWPs Have Nerve & Muscle Damage? > >Hello Barb, >Although I'm not familiar with your US. laws...I really don't know how >anyone could say that any PWP for 22 years, isn't disabled. I have a >friend who is an amputee and she had to fight with the Canadian >government to be declared disabled. She eventually won. Go figure >these law makers!! >Best always, >Shari >P.S. If you find out what date your EXTRA segment will run, please post >it in Big Bold Font. It's something I really don't want to miss! > >------------------------------ > >Date: Sun, 22 Mar 1998 16:51:30 -0500 >From: Wanda & Gail <[log in to unmask]> >Subject: Balance and Exercise > >Found two interesting articles: > >A good article on balance. >http://www.mayohealth.org/mayo/9803/htm/fitness.htm > >And one on walking for exercise: >http://www.mayohealth.org/mayo/9803/htm/walking.htm > >If you're having problems with your balance, talk to your >doctor before beginning any type of exercise program. > >Hugs, >Gail Vass > >------------------------------ > >Date: Sun, 22 Mar 1998 16:11:48 -0500 >From: Bruce Anderson <[log in to unmask]> >Subject: Re: Do PWPs Have Nerve & Muscle Damage? > >Barbara, if you haven' already, you have to get a SSDI law firm or advocac= y >firm working for you. If you have PD and can't get SSDI, you haven't >written the right words. That's what I hear. > >There's a firm in Chicago that operates nationally 2 friends of mind used. >It took a long time but they got it all paid in arrears, and the firm only >gets paid on contingency. Let me know if you want the phone #. >Bruce A. > >------------------------------ > >Date: Sun, 22 Mar 1998 16:19:56 -0500 >From: Bruce Anderson <[log in to unmask]> >Subject: Re: Sleeping on the job > >I feel asleep on the job a week or so ago, and woke up to find about 6 pag= es >of the letter "s" on my monitor. > >I chuckled at first but then I thought, I just hope that never happens out >on the highway!! > >------------------------------ > >Date: Sun, 22 Mar 1998 17:20:09 -0500 >From: John Lees <[log in to unmask]> >Subject: This List > >Hello Murray > > Depression is the traveling companion to most long term disease, >PD, MS, etc. As bad as depression gets and I know how bad it gets, it is = a >sure sign of sanity. > How many people have you met in your life that had an ongoing >illness such as PD and MS? Have any of them ever told you they were HAPPY >ABOUT IT. Depressed is how a health mind and spirit feel when you have an >on going illness. > If the depression is caused for some unknown reason, or goes on >for ever when you have PD, MS etc, then you must give it the special >attention it needs > In closing I just want to thank those of you that started this Lis= t >and tell all of you how much I enjoy the messages you post on it. To me th= e >list is a window that looks onto a beautiful field where flowers, children >sunshine and many other of GOD'S gifts can be found. > >Just one who has been there, >JOhn > >------------------------------ > >Date: Sun, 22 Mar 1998 18:08:47 EST >From: BRowley368 <[log in to unmask]> >Subject: EXTRA ? > >Listfriends, > >I've checked tvgen.com & my local book & can't seem to locate to show in >Augusta, Ga. Has anybody got a clue for our area. > >Bonnie >daughter of Jim 76/2 > >------------------------------ > >Date: Sun, 22 Mar 1998 15:43:39 -0800 >From: P Jones <[log in to unmask]> >Subject: It actually happened. > >The following letter-to-the-editor appeared in our local paper. >"Dear sir. >Washington, D.C. Senators, William B. Spong of Virginia and Hiram Fong of >Hawaii, recently sponsored a bill recommending the mass ringing of church >bells to welcome the arrival in Hong Kong of the U.S. table-tennis team, >after its triumphant tour of Communist China. >The bill failed to pass, cheating the U.S.Senate out of passing the >Spong-Fong Hong Kong Ping Pong Ding Dong Bell Bill." > >------------------------------ > >Date: Sun, 22 Mar 1998 17:52:25 -0600 >From: Arthur Hirsch <[log in to unmask]> >Subject: Re: EXTRA ? > >At 06:08 PM 3/22/98 EST, you wrote: >>Listfriends, >> >>I've checked tvgen.com & my local book & can't seem to locate to show in >>Augusta, Ga. Has anybody got a clue for our area. >> >>Bonnie >>daughter of Jim 76/2 >> > >Try WAGT (channel 26) at 9:00 AM > > or WOLO (channel 25) at noon > > or WTGS (channel 28) at 12:30 AM (after midnight) > > or WWMB (channel 21) at 12:30 AM > > or WCIV (channel 4) at 12:35 AM >Monday's program will be at 3:00 AM Tuesday > >Art > >Arthur Hirsch [] [log in to unmask] [] Lewisville, TX > ____________________________________________ > > Always Remember This: > Happiness Is Right, So Choose Happiness > ____________________________________________ > >------------------------------ > >Date: Sun, 22 Mar 1998 19:00:56 EST >From: Janet313 <[log in to unmask]> >Subject: re-post: clinical depression [cd] part 1 > >hi all: > >fore-warning: >this is the first of a series of re-posts on cd >per marling's request and in re the recent discussions > >'clinical depression' does NOT equal 'depression' or 'sadness' > >clinical depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain >with specific symptoms >with potentially several causes >and is the most easily treatable >neurological condition >in our world today > >it has been estimated that anywhere between 40 and 60 percent >of all people with parkinson's disease have clinical depression as well > >------------------------------------------------------- >Date: 22 January 1997 >From: janet paterson >Subject: news on clinical depression >------------------------------------------------------- > >hi all once again > >here is another news article on clinical depression. >i don't think we can get too much information >on it [clinical depression =3D cd ?] > >it's something i've been wrestling with for a number of years >[currently assisted by prozac] > >probably or even certainly linked to my pd >but also probably linked to my family background >where i believe my mother suffered with cd >but at the time [mid 1950's] was undiagnosed and untreated > >if her cd had been treated >the last 9 years of her life >[she died in 1964] >would have been transformed and >wouldn't have been her last > >i believe that many people still confuse >'sadness' and 'depressed feelings' >with clinical depression >and, as a result, >cd doesn't get the respect that it deserves > >i sent the following comments today >to a friend in re another subject, >but i think they apply here too: >>and men >>in general >>still are not supposed to display any 'weakness' >> >>and society >>in general >>still regards emotional issues as secondary to rational ones > >in addition, i have read studies that indicate that >as many as 40 to 50% of all parkies have cd as well. > >i love the pd battle cry of "invisible no more!" >if i have pd *and* cd >do i get to yell it twice? > >janet > >------------------------------------------------------- >Aid for the depressed seen lagging >------------------------------------------------------- > >(Jan 22, 1997 01:18 a.m. EST) - There is a perception in some circles that >everyone either is taking an anti-depressant or knows someone who is takin= g >one. > >Prozac and Zoloft are household words and the sales of these drugs have >soared >to >the point where the global market for all anti-depressants is estimated at= $6 >billion a year. > >But at the same time a panel of experts recently concluded that depression= >was >still being underdiagnosed and undertreated. > >For most people with clinical depression, the disorder is either undiagnos= ed >or >misdiagnosed, the panel reports in the current issue of The Journal of the >American Medical Association. > >Of those who have been depressed for 20 or more years, about half have nev= er >taken >an anti-depressant, the report says, and fewer than one-third of those who >take >medicine get an adequate dose for a long enough time. > >What is most surprising about the findings is that they come from studies >done >after Prozac, the first of a new generation of anti-depressants, came into >widespread use. > >These drugs, selective serotonin re-uptake inhibitors, increase the brain'= s >level >of serotonin, a neurotransmitter that influences mood. > >Not only are they safer than their predecessors, they have achieved a cert= ain >celebrity status, factors that doctors say have made them more acceptable = to >patients and doctors. > >"I would have believed that the vast majority of people with chronic >depression >would have been treated and treated better," said Dr. Martin B. Keller, a >panel >member and chairman of the department of psychiatry and human behavior at >Brown >University School of Medicine. "I was almost horrified." > >While some psychiatrists who were not on the panel found the report overly >pessimistic, they agreed with its overall conclusions. > >"There's no question that depression is still underdiagnosed," said Dr. T. >Byram >Karasu, chairman of the department of psychiatry at Albert Einstein >College of >Medicine in New York City. > >The National Depressive and Manic-Depressive Association, a professional >group >in >Chicago, convened the panel last year to examine the gap between the >knowledge >and >treatment of depression and to find out why it exists. > >Panelists for the conference included psychiatrists, family doctors, patie= nts >and >representatives of insurance companies. > >Their lodging and expenses were paid for by Bristol-Myers Squibb, the >manufacturer >of Serzone, an antidepressant. > >The panel estimated that 24 percent of women and 15 percent of men would >suffer >from clinical depression at some point in their lives. > >The annual cost of the illness was placed at $43 billion in medical expens= es, >absenteeism and lost productivity at work and premature >death. > > >One of the biggest obstacles to diagnosis and treatment is people's attitu= des >toward their symptoms, the panel said. > >Some people mistakenly assume that being sad most of the time is an aspect= of >their personality or a normal response to a troubling situation. > >Others realize that they suffer from depression but do not seek help out o= f >fear >of being stigmatized at work or at home, according to the report. > >The panel reports that when patients are treated, many do not complete the= ir >drug >therapy. > >Market research has found that half of all patients stop taking their >medicine >within 30 days because they are troubled by the side effects, which includ= e >nausea, insomnia and sexual dysfunction. > >But medical evidence indicates that depression requires long-term >treatment to >prevent relapse, Keller says. > >Another problem is that primary-care doctors often fail to recognize signs= of >depression in their patients, despite several recent education campaigns b= y >the >National Institute of Mental Health and other groups. > >The panel found that many doctors spent too little time with their >patients to >make a diagnosis, or that they dismissed the signs of depression as >hypochondria. > >When doctors do prescribe anti-depressants, they often give too low a dose= >for >too >short a period in an effort to minimize side effects, the panelists said. > >Finally, the report concluded that limited mental-health insurance coverag= e >was a >major barrier to adequate treatment. > >Ninety-three percent of people with health insurance have mental-health >benefits, >said Eron Shosteck, a spokesman for the Health Insurance Association of >America. > >But Keller said few plans approved psychotherapy for depression anymore >because it >was too expensive, leaving anti-depressants as the only treatment option. > >But he and his colleagues also found that some managed care plans discoura= ged >doctors from prescribing the newer anti-depressants because they are more >expensive than the older ones. > >"This is penny-wise and pound-foolish," said Dr. Robert M.A. Hirschfeld, h= ead >of >the panel and chairman of the department of psychiatry and behavioral >sciences >at >the University of Texas Medical Branch in Galveston. > >"Compliance with the newer agents is much higher because their side effect= s >profile is more acceptable. If people don't comply with their medicine, th= ere >is a >greater risk of relapse and suicide." > >The report did note some improvements. It said only about 10 percent of >people >with depression received adequate treatment in a 1980 study, but 27 percen= t >did in >a 1995 study. > >Some psychiatrists said the studies reviewed by the panelists were too old= to >reveal the full impact of the new anti-depressants. > >In the last 11 months of 1996, the market for all the selective serotonin = re- >uptake inhibitors grew 20 percent, said Sharyn Arnold, a spokeswoman for >SmithKline Beecham, the manufacturer of Paxil, the newest of these drugs. > >Sven Borho, an analyst with Mehta &=A0Isaly, a pharmaceutical-securities >research >firm in New York, estimated 1995 sales of all antidepressants worldwide to= be >$6 >billion, with about 60 percent of those sales for the selective serotonin = re- >uptake inhibitors. > >Sales figures from the manufacturers of the three main such drugs, Prozac, >Zoloft >and Paxil, put the 1995 worldwide sales of those drugs at almost $3.9 >billion. > >The numbers mean that more people are being treated for depression, said D= r. >Gary >Tollefson, vice president of the Lilly Research Laboratory in >Indianapolis, an >arm >of Eli Lilly, the manufacturer of Prozac. > >"Our data show that many patients who are prescribed these agents are bein= g >newly >treated, not just transferring from other treatments," he said. > >Hirschfeld pointed out that these people are a privileged few because they >recognize their problem and have the means to treat it. > >He said that to reach most other people with depression would require effo= rts >to >reduce the stigma, educate doctors about diagnosis and treatment and expan= d >insurance coverage. > >In other words, it will take a sea change greater than any drugs, however >popular, >can bring about. > >Copyright 1997 Nando.net >Copyright 1997 N.Y. Times News Service > >------------------------------------------------------- > >janet paterson >51-10 / sinemet-selegiline-prozac >almonte-ontario-canada / [log in to unmask] > >------------------------------ > >Date: Sun, 22 Mar 1998 19:01:09 EST >From: Janet313 <[log in to unmask]> >Subject: re-post: clinical depression [cd] part 2 > >------------------------------------------------------- >Date: 30 October 1997 >From: =A0janet paterson >Subject: re-post: CD: perceptions >------------------------------------------------------- >original posted on 14 July 1997 >------------------------------------------------------- > >dear syber-siblings > >for those who don't know me very well >i use the term 'siblings' consciously and deliberately > >this group has great importance to me as an extended family > >i live on an island with a population of 55,000 >[until december 1997] >and have never met another parkie >[until january 1998] >let alone a support group >so 'you lot' are it > >since october 1995 >when i was privileged to join this ethereal family >i have: >posted daily at times >posted infrequently at times >lurked for months at a stretch >all depending on my own circumstances and my own energy levels > >i deal with parkinson's disease [pd] >as well as with clinical depression [cd] >and at times, i think cd is the harder battle > >when my thinking >is bright and clear >my sense of self is strong >my sense of humour is at its gooffiest >my inherent natural joy in life is in top form >and my tolerance for the actions of others is at its most generous > >when i am caught >in the Grey Cloud [GC] >of Clinical Depression [CD] >or other Similarly Laden Internalized Modes of Expression [SLIME!] >my thinking becomes >consistently negative >my sense of self is muddied >the joy in life doesn't exist >[and never did, and never will return] >there is little in this wide world and dark to laugh at >and there are very few people out there >[a] who are worth my attention and >[b] who would ever feel i was worthy of their attention. > >this kind of murky thinking grows slowly and insidiously >and feeds on itself in a slippery downward spiral > >i know it intimately >the hardest work i've done in the past few years >is learn to recognise it >for what it is > >once i realize what's going on >a little crack appears in the overhead gloom >and then it's 'just' a matter of consciously working >at reversing the downhill slide by whatever means necessary > >for me >the epiphany >in this struggle was >suddenly learning that i had a choice in my emotional reactions > >that these dank cobwebby veils of negative emotion >were hanging all around me >because i allowed them to > >that is not to say >that i'm 'guilty' of causing my own murk >rather >i comprehend that i have a conscious choice >and in using that choice >there is strength > >our society's brain-washing-staining includes a chronic tendency >to look at things through a lens of confrontation > >life and its challenges are tackled >from the narrow perspective of >either / or >all or nothing >my way or the highway >if something's wrong, someone must be blamed >and on and on > >from a wide angle perspective >i believe this approach results >in global confrontations like bosnia, belfast, et al > >from a close-up perspective >i believe this approach results >in personal problems like family estrangement >i know that intimately too. > >i have an inherent distaste for any kind of censorship >and would resist any attempt to restrict >my own voice > >where am i going with all this? > >choice - i can choose how i feel and react to circumstances and individual= s > >confront - all of society [including me] are conditioned to confrontation > >voice - i demand the right to my own voice > >if my re-actions are coloured by my negative choice >then i'm doomed to confrontation and censorship as coping techniques > >if my re-actions are coloured by my positive choice >then the conditioning comes under question and voices are heard > >i had a hard time >wrapping my brain around the idea >that i have a choice in how i react to things >including how i react emotionally >this helped: > >------------------------------------------------------- > >As novices we think we're entirely responsible for >the way people treat us >I have long since learned that we are responsible only for >the way we treat people > >=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0Rose Lane > >------------------------------------------------------- > >i think this concept has been wonderfully demonstrated >by the incredible people on this list >in the range of re-actions posted >in regard to jeanne's message 'get a clue' > >jeanne was obviously 'spilling' a lot of anger and frustration > >as a 'receiver' i could have reacted with >anger >and interpreted her words as out of line and insulting >or fear >and interpreted her words as a personal attack >or acceptance >and interpreted her words as her opinion, nothing more, nothing less >or empathy >and interpreted her words as her expression of frustration >whatever > >but it is my choice now >i'm not at the mercy of the tempest > >no one or thing can 'make' me feel anything >my emotions are my own > >i can choose to see the cup as half empty >and worry about what i don't have >or >i can choose to see the cup as half full >and enjoy what i have > >it's still the same cup >but my outlook is not > >i can see jeanne's or ken's or whoever's messages >as annoying or as communication >they are still the same messages but my outlook is not > >i can see the volume of messages on the list >as an overwhelming burden or as generous sharing >the volume is still the same but my outlook is not > >janet > >------------------------------------------------------- > >janet paterson >51-10 / sinemet-selegiline-prozac >almonte-ontario-canada / [log in to unmask] > >------------------------------ > >End of PARKINSN Digest - 22 Mar 1998 - Special issue >**************************************************** > ____________________________________________ Whatever happened to Bernard Shir-Cliff?