*AUTO-REPLY* Hi -- I can't come to the computer right now, but I'll be back by 3/30 and will respond to you then. Thanks! Lee On 03/22/98 4:05 PM, Automatic digest processor expostulated: >There are 7 messages totalling 912 lines in this issue. > >Topics in this special issue: > > 1. re-post: clinical depression [cd] part 3 > 2. re-post: clinical depression [cd] part 9 > 3. re-post: clinical depression [cd] part 5 > 4. re-post: clinical depression [cd] part 7 > 5. re-post: clinical depression [cd] part 4 > 6. re-post: clinical depression [cd] part 8 > 7. re-post: clinical depression [cd] part 6 > >---------------------------------------------------------------------- > >Date: Sun, 22 Mar 1998 19:01:14 EST >From: Janet313 <[log in to unmask]> >Subject: re-post: clinical depression [cd] part 3 > >------------------------------------------------------- >Date: 30 October 1997 >From: =A0janet paterson >Subject: re-post: CD: perceptions of rainbows >------------------------------------------------------- >original posted on 15 July 1997 >------------------------------------------------------- > >hi marling >you wrote: >>your outlook is great >>I have always felt that I am responsible for >>my own actions and reactions and no one else's. > >...thank you for your kind words > >but... >if you have 'always' felt that way >howcum you didn't let me in on the secret earlier? > >here i am a grown woman of 50 >and sometimes i feel like i'm still in kindergarten! > >>By the way, I have also found that I can color that hole. >>Mine now has rainbow swirls. It makes it cheery (ha ha). > >i have described the 'paralysis of will' >that accompanies slimey thinking >as akin to functioning in >a vat of green jello >[extra thick] >but >i like your idea better > >your syb-sis > >janet > >------------------------------------------------------- > >janet paterson >51-10 / sinemet-selegiline-prozac >almonte-ontario-canada / [log in to unmask] > >------------------------------ > >Date: Sun, 22 Mar 1998 19:02:24 EST >From: Janet313 <[log in to unmask]> >Subject: re-post: clinical depression [cd] part 9 > >------------------------------------------------------- >Date: 10 October 1997 >From: =A0janet paterson >Subject: CD: Millions of depressed people undiagnosed, experts say >------------------------------------------------------- > >WASHINGTON (October 10, 1997 00:28 a.m. EDT http://www.nando.net) - Millio= ns >of >people are walking around depressed without even realizing it, and their >doctors and families are missing what could be a serious illness as well, >experts said on Thursday. > >More than 66 percent of people with clinical depression go undiagnosed, bu= t >the disease is easily treated, doctors, psychologists and members of Congr= ess >told a >news conference. > >"There's 17 million people in the United States who suffer from depression= , >and less than 33 percent of them seek treatment," Michael Faenza, >president of >the National Mental Health Association (NMHA), said. > >Steven Hyman, director of the National Institute of Mental Health, said mo= st >people still believed the symptoms of depression, which include persistent= >sad >or anxious moods, sleeping too much or too little, appetite changes and >fatigue, were some sort of character defect. > >"Based on everything we know from biochemical science, we can say that >depression >is not a moral failing," he said. "You can't just tell people to pull >themselves up by their bootstraps." > >On Thursday the NMHA, the American Psychiatric Association, the National >Alliance >for the Mentally Ill (NAMI) and the National Depressive and Manic-Depressi= ve >Association sponsored a nationwide series of free, confidential screenings= >for >depression. > >Faenza said such screenings in the past had turned up the extent of the >problem. "Up to 60 percent of people screened have been found to have >depression," he said in an interview. > >Perhaps people self-selected, he added -- meaning that those who felt they >might be depressed tended to go to screenings. But he said the stigma of >mental illness was stopping people from getting help. > >Senators and members of Congress, opening one free screening in a Senate >office building, said their own experiences showed how ignorant people wer= e >about depression. > >"My father committed suicide," Nevada Sen. Harry Reid said. "As I look bac= k, >(I realize) my father was depressed a lot of the time. Had we known my fat= her >would shoot himself, we would have been more concerned about this thing we >call depression," Reid, a Democrat, added. > >Michigan Democrat Lynn Rivers said her battle with bipolar disorder, also >known as manic depression, nearly cost her the race for Congress when her >opponent used it against her. > >"It never impacted my ability to serve," she said. "This is a disease that= is >treatable. This is a disease that is biologically based." > >But Hyman said most doctors did not even recognize depression. Only 40 >percent >of >people who are depressed and who see their doctors are diagnosed and refer= red >for treatment, he said. > >"Only 20 percent of children going to pediatricians are being recognized a= nd >treated," he added. > >Untreated depression costs the U.S. economy $43 billion a year in lost >workdays, eventual hospital stays and other losses, Laurie Flynn, executiv= e >director of NAMI, said. > >By MAGGIE FOX, Health and Science Correspondent >Copyright 1997 Nando.net >Copyright 1997 Reuters > >------------------------------------------------------- > >janet paterson >51-10 / sinemet-selegiline-prozac >almonte-ontario-canada / [log in to unmask] > >------------------------------ > >Date: Sun, 22 Mar 1998 19:01:28 EST >From: Janet313 <[log in to unmask]> >Subject: re-post: clinical depression [cd] part 5 > >------------------------------------------------------- >Date: 30 October 1997 >From: janet paterson >Subject: re-post: CD: perceptions re-visited >------------------------------------------------------- >original posted on 17 July 1997 >------------------------------------------------------- > >dear syber-siblings > >our newest list member asks: >>Is Prozac the best thing for this sort of depression? > >clinical depression [cd] seems to have become my pet subject > >the question reminded me of something i had intended to >include in my 'perceptions' post earlier this week >in my reading about cd and its treatment > >i understand that the current professional guidelines >advise that where medication is indicated as a treatmemt >it should be approached much more aggressively >than in the past > >the thinking was that cd has been chronically under-treated: >not enough medication and for too short a time >to be truly effective in 'blowing the clouds away' > >the implication was that cd is eminently treatable and beatable >that its victims should not have to suffer with it needlessly >due to under-treatment > >i believe that i can relate to this personally >i felt that my anti-depressant 'wasn't working anymore' >and worried about switching to something else >however my doctor advised increasing the current med >for a few weeks as the first strategy >and i do believe it worked >[witness the sudden re-emergence of the hermit!] > >please note that i have deliberately avoided naming meds >because pd varies so much from one person to another >and each of us is our own unique 'chemical stew' >there are a lot of anti-depressants available; > >it may take some experimenting to hit on the right one > >any comments or corrections? > >janet > >------------------------------------------------------- > >janet paterson >51-10 / sinemet-selegiline-prozac >almonte-ontario-canada / [log in to unmask] > >------------------------------ > >Date: Sun, 22 Mar 1998 19:02:01 EST >From: Janet313 <[log in to unmask]> >Subject: re-post: clinical depression [cd] part 7 > >------------------------------------------------------- >Date: 30 October 1997 >From: =A0janet paterson >Subject: re-post: CD: perceptions of clinical depression >------------------------------------------------------- >original posted on 01 August 1997 >------------------------------------------------------- > >hello syber-siblings > >in fond memory of alan bonander > >who left us a year ago today, a quote: > >=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0to be depressed is not unusual >=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0but to stay depressed is unnecessary > >this seems to be evolving into a weekly 'syber-sibling cd series' > >every time i read of a syber-sibling struggling with cd >i start mulling all over again > >since i'm so thankful to be out of it >and because my heart goes out to anyone who's stuck in it > >when i'm in the 'slime pit' of cd >i generally cannot see my thinking as distorted > >when i'm out of that pit >i can look back and see the distortions clearly > >when i'm out of the pit >and if i pay close attention >i can frequently see cd clearly in others > >it's a catch 22 >for the cd sufferer > >if my thinking is distorted >how can i evaluate my thinking? >and how can i accept another's evaluation of my thinking? > >while discussing clinical depression [cd] with a friend recently, >we came up with an interesting analogy of >how the brain's chemistry malfunction >can distort normal thinking >into gloom and doom >distortions > >we compared the bio-chemical imbalance of cd >to having a faulty fuel gauge in my car > >"when you're depressed it always points to empty >and it stresses you >and makes you ill >because even though you know when you're zipping around town >that it can't always be empty >yet there is that time when >it will indeed be empty >and thus it keeps you in a constant state of stress" > >i know i'm not 'imagining' anything >because i can see the gauge showing 'empty' > >it's just that when i'm caught up in the slime pit >i'm not 'spunky' enough to think the gauge is wrong > >instead i 'automatically' assume there must be something wrong with me: >'why do i always forget to fill up?' >'i'm gonna run outta gas and be stuck somewhere any minute and get a ticke= t' >'why am i always so irresponsible/lazy/etc ?' >'i'll never make it to my appointment on time' > >that's sort of how the negative thinking spiral goes >and i believe the constant stress of this 'automatic' thought pattern >contributes to the chemical imbalance >resulting in a downward spiral >of negativity > >by contrast >when i'm out of the slime pit >if i saw the fuel gauge showing 'empty' >i would not immediately assume there was anything at all wrong with me: >i would simply look at the gauge and say >"what the heck, i just filled it up the other day! stupid gauge!" >[or something to that effect] > >2nd analogy for the mud wrestlers among us: >cd is a slimey liar >it's hard to grab ahold of it >but once i've got it pinned down to the mat >i know it's relatively easy to scrub the slime away > >with love from your syber-sis ... > >janet > >------------------------------------------------------- > >janet paterson >51-10 / sinemet-selegiline-prozac >almonte-ontario-canada / [log in to unmask] > >------------------------------ > >Date: Sun, 22 Mar 1998 19:01:22 EST >From: Janet313 <[log in to unmask]> >Subject: re-post: clinical depression [cd] part 4 > >------------------------------------------------------- >Date: 30 October 1997 >From: =A0janet paterson >Subject: re-post: CD: perceptions shared >------------------------------------------------------- >original posted on 15 July 1997 >------------------------------------------------------- > >hi margie >you wrote: >>Wonderful description of depression and our choices of >>what to do about it. It's easier said than done to make >>those choices when in the midst of depression, and your >>letter makes clear, but the choices are there. >>I'm going to save your article to re-read and to share >>with friends, if you don't mind. =A0Thanks. > >thank you for your kind words >and please feel free to share away! > >recognising cd is the hardest aspect i think >probably followed by accepting it >and deciding to deal with it > >it's as common as the common cold >but more so in parkies > >it's been hidden away in the 'looneybin' closet >for too long > >as far as i'm concerned: >if i have double-vision >i have a type of bio-visual imbalance >which needs to be corrected >no shame/guilt/fear attached > >if i have pd >i have a type of dopamine bio-chemical imbalance >which needs to be corrected >no shame/guilt/fear attached > >if i have cd >i have a type of serotonin bio-chemical imbalance >which needs to be corrected >no shame/guilt/fear attached > >the 'corrections' >are simply the ways and means i have at my disposal >to 'tune-up' and 'fine-tune' as much as possible >this bio-chemical body >that i live in >cuz i don't have a spare one handy > >the catch 22 of cd >relative to other 'physical' imbalances >is that it affects my perception of myself and my world > >the only reason i could recognise it in myself the first time >was because i had done a lot of reading on the subject >in order to understand someone near and dear > >after i was on an anti-depressant medication for a few weeks >the clouds broke and the sun blazed through one day >when i caught myself singing on the way to work >for the first time in two years > >at that moment i fully realized >[a] that there really had been clouds >[b] that they had been dogging me for two years >[c] that they had snuck up behind me silent and slow >[d] that they had been twisting my perceptions like fun-house mirrors >except that it wasn't very much fun > >however >from the perspective i now have >i can look on all of it as invaluable growing experience >and would not change a thing >not cd and not pd > >how else would i have arrived at this point >of sharing so much with you? > >janet > >------------------------------------------------------- > >janet paterson >51-10 / sinemet-selegiline-prozac >almonte-ontario-canada / [log in to unmask] > >------------------------------ > >Date: Sun, 22 Mar 1998 19:02:14 EST >From: Janet313 <[log in to unmask]> >Subject: re-post: clinical depression [cd] part 8 > >------------------------------------------------------- >Date: 23 August 1997 >From: janet paterson >Subj: CD: A Poem by Jane Kenyon >------------------------------------------------------- > > HAVING IT OUT WITH MELANCHOLY > > "If many remedies are prescribed for an illness, > you may be certain that the illness has no cure." > > A.P. Chekhov > The Cherry Orchard > > > 1 FROM THE NURSERY > > When I was born, you waited > behind a pile of linen in the nursery, > and when we were alone, you lay down > on top of me, pressing > the bile of desolation into every pore. > And from that day on > everything under the sun and moon > made me sad=97even the yellow > wooden beads that slid and spun > along a spindle on my crib. > > You taught me to exist without gratitude. > You ruined my manners toward God: > "We're here simply to wit for death; > the pleasures of earth are overrated." > > I only appeared to belong to my mother, > to live among blocks and cotton undershirts > with snaps; among red tin lunch boxes > and report cards in ugly brown slipcases. > I was already yours=97the anti-urge, > the mutilator of souls. > > 2 BOTTLES > > Elavil, Ludiomil, Doxepin, > Norpramin, Prozac, Lithium, Xanax, > Wellbutrin, Parnate, Nardil, Zoloft. > The coated ones smell sweet or have > no smell; the powdery ones smell > like the chemistry lab at school > that made me hold my breath. > > 3 SUGGESTION FROM A FRIEND > > You wouldn't be so depressed > if you really believed in God. > > 4 OFTEN > > Often I go to bed as soon after dinner > as seems adult > (I mean I try to wait for dark) > in order to push away > from the massive pain in sleep's > frail wicker coracle. > > 5 ONCE THERE WAS LIGHT > > Once, in my early thirties, I saw > that I was a speck of light in the great > river of light that undulates through time. > I was floating with the whole > human family. We were all colors=97those > who are living now, those who have died, > those who are not yet born. For a few > > moments I floated, completely calm, > and I no longer hated having to exist. > > Like a crow who smells hot blood > you came flying to pull me out > of the glowing stream. > "I'll hold you up. I never let my dear > ones drown!" After that, I wept for days. > > 6 IN AND OUT > > The dog searches until he finds me > upstairs, lies down with a clatter > of elbows, puts his head on my foot. > > Sometimes the sound of his breathing > saves my life=97in and out, in > and out; a pause, a long sigh... > > 7 PARDON > > A piece of burned meat > wears my clothes, speaks > in my voice, dispatches obligations > haltingly, or not at all. > It is tired of trying > to be stouthearted, tired > beyond measure. > > We move on to the monoamine > oxidase inhibitors. Day and night > I feel as if I had drunk six cups > of coffee, but the pain stops > abruptly. With the wonder > > and bitterness of someone pardoned > for a crime she did not commit > I come back to marriage and friends, > to pink-fringed hollyhocks; come back > to my desk, books, and chair. > > 8 CREDO > > Pharmaceutical wonders are at work > but I believe only in this moment > of well-being. Unholy ghost, > you are certain to come again. > > Coarse, mean, you'll put your feet > on the coffee table, lean back, > and turn me into someone who can't > take the trouble to speak; someone > who can't sleep, or who does nothing > but sleep; can't read, or call > for an appointment for help. > > There is nothing I can do > against your coming. > When I am awake, I am still with thee. > > 9 WOOD THRUSH > > High on Nardil and June light > I wake at four, > waiting greedily for the first > notes of the wood thrush. Easeful air > presses through the screen > with the wild, complex song > of the bird, and I am overcome > > by ordinary contentment. > What hurt me so terribly > all my life until this moment? > How I love the small, swiftly > beating heart of the bird > singing in the great maples; > its bright, unequivocal eye. > > Jane Kenyon > > >Copyright 1996 by Jane Kenyon. >>From Otherwise: New & Selected Poems ><http://www.graywolfpress.org> >------------------------------------------------------- > >janet paterson >51-10 / sinemet-selegiline-prozac >almonte-ontario-canada / [log in to unmask] > >------------------------------ > >Date: Sun, 22 Mar 1998 19:01:52 EST >From: Janet313 <[log in to unmask]> >Subject: re-post: clinical depression [cd] part 6 > >------------------------------------------------------- >From: janet paterson >Date: 30 October 1997 >Subject: re-post: CD: clinical depression [cd] defined >------------------------------------------------------- >original posted on 18 July 1997 >------------------------------------------------------- > >dear syber-siblings > >i've had a lot of positive feedback on my 'perceptions' posts >about clinical depression [cd - as i like to call it] > >as i understand it >clinical depression is not simply feelings of sadness > >it is a chemical imbalance >which can be triggered by stress >and which can affect one's thought processes and emotions >in the same way that >the chemical imbalance of pd can affect one's mobility > >this is the clearest detailed description i've found on the web >[from the university of british columbia, eh?] > >------------------------------------------------------- >What is a Clinical Depression? >------------------------------------------------------- > >Clinical depression is sometimes referred to as a major depressive episode=