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hi cyber-dad you wrote: >got some new picks on my web page that asked for. >as time goes on more will be added >to get there >http://wcoil.com/~flash >the reason i don"t sent them is lot don't like to get them. >i like to get family pics as i print tme out >oh i did not get the name of the witch >let know who you are. >as i am putting place on my wall of family pics. >silly old man i am eat my spinach. i don't have any pictures that have been scanned for computer use but as soon as i do, i will send one to you so as to make sure i get included in your family picture wall! and then your lousy spelling keyboard wrote [and i neatened]: >all the talk of suicide >is making it hard for me to keep >MR PD OUT OF MY LIFE none of us discussing clinical depression and suicide intend to cause anyone upset or worry i think no, i know, that we, as a society, have been brainwashed [brain-stained] into 'putting on a happy face' at the terrible expense of learning how to express and, even more important, to deal with our negative emotions in my opinion the result has been a certain ease and comfort in expressing joy, happiness, love, tenderness, pride, et cetera and a definite discomfort and even avoidance in expressing grief, fear, pain, anger, shame, et cetera we tend to fear anything that we don't know or understand such as any negative emotions their sharing their expression even their existence in others but especially in us my intimate acquaintance with clinical depression has forced my hand so to speak when cd affects my general day to day functioning and my normally chirpy and goofy outlook i have to sit down and dig deep in spite of the fear because the causes of the fear the negative emotions i've been avoiding or repressing will not just 'go away' if they are ignored nooooooo they fester in the darkness and will grow in direct proportion to the energy i expend in attempting to suppress them and so contribute to the downward spiral in cd's brain chemistry as i see it, the only way to truly 'deal' with them [when we are ready to] [regardless of whether we have clinical depression or not] is to drag them [kicking and screaming if necessary] out of the dark and into the light where they can be exposed for the inflated imposters that they generally are one school of thought describes those fears as sure signs of mental health only the truly crazy are fearless [!] life itself is a miracle birth is a miracle why can't death be a miracle as well? it's all part of the same miraculous process i don't mean that we should be happy to lose anyone to death but maybe it doesn't warrant all the pain and fear that we have attached to it we celebrate the arrival and 'well-come' in a birth why can we not celebrate the parting and 'fare-well' in a death? [e.g. dr. benjamin spock, the child-care guru, who recently died, requested that his funeral be full of music and dancing and so it was] if, instead of death, it's pain and suffering that we fear, our miraculous bodies are designed to 'shut down' in one way or another as soon as any pain becomes too much for us to bear; we have a built-in breaker-switch! >as you know i wanted to >but judith, camilla and sonia helped me through it. i've read that people who have unsuccessfully attempted suicide almost always experience a spiritual turn-around as a result and are as happy and peace-full afterwards as they were sad and pain-full before maybe an attempt at suicide is simply a non-vocal cry for help since we've not learned how to speak the words? >as i once said we all have a tough time with pd. >even me with all years i have had it >i say 26 years, neuro says 32 years >janet and barb also helped >are we helping or harming >by talking so much about it on the list? as far as i can tell talking about it can only help not talking about it can only harm avoiding the subject doesn't make it go away sharing our feelings about it puts it into perspective and helps dispel the murk and the fear surrounding it >as of now i am having trouble >in understand things and remembering. it may appear so to you, cyber-dad, but from my vantage point, you understand and remember the important stuff! >i won't tell what meds i take. >but want to tell what all we can do if we try your message comes through bright and clear! >i am supposed to use a wheel chair but i won't >i fall a lot and my legs hurt but i will win see what i mean? if anyone on this list is full of spunk, it's you! [must be all that spinach!] >guess this is all for now >C U [see you] all later your message rang some bells in my own head and i felt compelled to write this i hope it helps with love sis