This is a multi-part message in MIME format. --part0_891818888_boundary Content-ID: <[log in to unmask]> Content-type: text/plain; charset=US-ASCII Here's another from my cousin. Hope you enjoy. Bonnie In a message dated 98-04-04 17:10:53 EST, [log in to unmask] writes: > > > TEXAS RULES OF ETIQUETTE > > > > PERSONAL HYGIENE > > > > 1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should > be > > done in private using one's OWN truck keys. > > > > 2. Proper use of toiletries can forestall bathing for several days. > However, > > if you live alone, deodorant is a waste of good money. > > > > 3. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a social no-no, as they > tend to > > detract from a woman's jewelry and alter the tastes of finger foods. > > > > DINING OUT > > > > 1. When decanting wine, make sure that you tilt the paper cup, and pour > > slowly so as not to "bruise" the fruit of the vine. > > > > 2. If drinking directly from the bottle, always hold it with your > fingers > > covering the label. > > > > ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME > > > > 1. A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a > > taxidermist. > > > > 2. Do not allow the dog to eat at the table...no matter how good his > manners > > are. > > > > DATING (Outside the Family) > > > > 1. Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on the first date. > > > > 2. Establish with her parents what time she is expected back. Some > will say > > 10:00 PM; Others might say "Monday." If the latter is the answer, it is > the > > man's responsibility to get her to school on time. > > > > THEATER ETIQUETTE > > > > 1. Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up immediately > > after the movie has ended. > > > > 2. Refrain from talking to characters on the screen. Tests have proven > they > > can't hear you. > > > > WEDDINGS > > > > 1. Livestock, usually, is a poor choice for a wedding gift. > > > > 2. Kissing the bride for more than 5 seconds may get you shot. > > > > 3. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A leisure suit with a > cummerbund and > > a clean bowling shirt can create a tacky appearance. > > > > 4. Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to socks and shoes for this special > occasion. > > > > DRIVING ETIQUETTE > > > > 1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles; Even if the gun is > loaded, > > and the deer is in sight. > > > > 2. When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires > > always has the right of way. > > > > 3. Never tow another car using pantyhose and duct tape. > > > > 4. When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite > to > > ask her to bring back beer. > > > > 5. Never relieve yourself from a moving vehicle, especially when > driving. > > > > 6. Do not lay rubber while traveling in a funeral procession. > > > > TIPS FOR ALL OCCASIONS > > > > 1. Never take a beer to a job interview. > > > > 2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them. > > > > 3. It's considered tacky to take a cooler to church. > > > > 4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets. > > > > 5. Even if you're certain that you are included in the will, it is > still > > considered tacky to drive a U-Haul to the funeral home. > > --part0_891818888_boundary Content-ID: <[log in to unmask]> Content-type: message/rfc822 Content-transfer-encoding: 7bit Content-disposition: inline Return-Path: <[log in to unmask]> Received: from relay25.mx.aol.com (relay25.mail.aol.com [172.31.109.25]) by air14.mail.aol.com (v40.19) with SMTP; Sat, 04 Apr 1998 17:10:53 -0500 Received: from x4.boston.juno.com (x4.boston.juno.com [205.231.101.22]) by relay25.mx.aol.com (8.8.5/8.8.5/AOL-4.0.0) with ESMTP id RAA27606; Sat, 4 Apr 1998 17:10:50 -0500 (EST) From: [log in to unmask] Received: (from [log in to unmask]) by x4.boston.juno.com (queuemail) id RyL29010; Sat, 04 Apr 1998 17:10:30 EST To: [log in to unmask], [log in to unmask], [log in to unmask], [log in to unmask], [log in to unmask], [log in to unmask], [log in to unmask], [log in to unmask], [log in to unmask], [log in to unmask], [log in to unmask], [log in to unmask], [log in to unmask], [log in to unmask], [log in to unmask], [log in to unmask] Subject: TEXAS RULES OF ETIQUETTE] Message-ID: <[log in to unmask]> X-Mailer: Juno 1.38 X-Juno-Line-Breaks: 0-4,6-8,10-12,14-21,23-30,32-38,40,42-49,51-59, 61-63,65-68,70-77,79-81,83-96,98-105 Date: Sat, 04 Apr 1998 17:10:30 EST Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-type: text/plain; charset=US-ASCII Content-transfer-encoding: 7bit > TEXAS RULES OF ETIQUETTE > > PERSONAL HYGIENE > > 1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should be > done in private using one's OWN truck keys. > > 2. Proper use of toiletries can forestall bathing for several days. However, > if you live alone, deodorant is a waste of good money. > > 3. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a social no-no, as they tend to > detract from a woman's jewelry and alter the tastes of finger foods. > > DINING OUT > > 1. When decanting wine, make sure that you tilt the paper cup, and pour > slowly so as not to "bruise" the fruit of the vine. > > 2. If drinking directly from the bottle, always hold it with your fingers > covering the label. > > ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME > > 1. A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a > taxidermist. > > 2. Do not allow the dog to eat at the table...no matter how good his manners > are. > > DATING (Outside the Family) > > 1. Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on the first date. > > 2. Establish with her parents what time she is expected back. Some will say > 10:00 PM; Others might say "Monday." If the latter is the answer, it is the > man's responsibility to get her to school on time. > > THEATER ETIQUETTE > > 1. Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up immediately > after the movie has ended. > > 2. Refrain from talking to characters on the screen. Tests have proven they > can't hear you. > > WEDDINGS > > 1. Livestock, usually, is a poor choice for a wedding gift. > > 2. Kissing the bride for more than 5 seconds may get you shot. > > 3. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A leisure suit with a cummerbund and > a clean bowling shirt can create a tacky appearance. > > 4. Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to socks and shoes for this special occasion. > > DRIVING ETIQUETTE > > 1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles; Even if the gun is loaded, > and the deer is in sight. > > 2. When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires > always has the right of way. > > 3. Never tow another car using pantyhose and duct tape. > > 4. When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to > ask her to bring back beer. > > 5. Never relieve yourself from a moving vehicle, especially when driving. > > 6. Do not lay rubber while traveling in a funeral procession. > > TIPS FOR ALL OCCASIONS > > 1. Never take a beer to a job interview. > > 2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them. > > 3. It's considered tacky to take a cooler to church. > > 4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets. > > 5. Even if you're certain that you are included in the will, it is still > considered tacky to drive a U-Haul to the funeral home. --------- End forwarded message ---------- _____________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. 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