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He used to be a dr-holic, if that could be a term!  My mom died 15 years ago
and he has had that attitude ever since, a LONG time.
He is very mentally alert, though he seems tired a lot now.

I've told him last week that I'm going to try to get a diagnosis for him
behind his back, even if he isn't going to participate.  I also told him
this morning about everyone here on the list and some of the responses I'm
getting.  If nothing else, he has been impressed with the effort and told me
I must really love him to go through all this work.  I don't know what to
do, we all know he has something degenerative, and that is what he doesn't
want to hear.  He told us that, but it sure is hard to watch someone do
this.  At least we three kids know we are actively trying our best.

I got a great idea from someone on this list of video taping him and getting
a dr. to look at it, it is definitely worth a try!  I've also desperately
made a bunch of Fava Bean cookies and meatloaf last night, based on another
article.  If nothing else, at least we will get a healthy meal down him, he
promised me he would eat them.  Which is a start, he is so skinny..... if
you think of ANYTHING, PLEASE let me know, I'll keep you updated.  Thank
you, Jenny.
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Camilla H.Flintermann [SMTP:[log in to unmask]]
> Sent: Wednesday, April 01, 1998 7:38 PM
> To:   Multiple recipients of list PARKINSN
> Subject:      Re: Help, Father refuses to go to Dr.
>
> I can understand your concern, as your father has many signs that
> *something* is wrong. I wonder if he is depressed after the loss of your
> mother, and feels no purpose in living?  You should know that there is
> something called "essential tremor", which is not PD, and runs in
> families.
> The tremor in PD is a *resting tremor*, which is supposed to stop when the
> person takes action, and is worse at rest...that sounds like what you said
> he has, but you also said it gets worse when he reaches--
> Of course YOU   know that he should see a movement disorder specialist to
> find out what is going on. His refusal and denial are very hard to
> overcome, and you have obviously tried many approaches.
>  He must be very angry at "doctors" for misdiagnosing and not helping his
> wife, and that would add to the depression and hopelessness he feels. Is
> this a change, or was he always afraid of doctors in the past?
>  The things you describe *could* be symptoms of PD. Do they bother him as
> much as they upset you? Is he mentally clear?
>  Could you make a "contract" with him that he would agree to see a doctor
> for diagnosis, for your sake,without committing himself to what he would
> do
> after that?
>  When he says he doesn't want to know because "then he will give up", it
> sounds like he has a pretty clear idea in his own mind what he thinks he
> has. Can he tell YOU what he thinks? That might be a start. Does he know
> you have contacted us, and if so could you use that in some way to get him
> involved more positively?
> It's hard to be very helpful knowing so little, and at a distance, but
> perhaps someone will offer an idea you can use.  I do suspect he is very
> depressed, and that makes it harder to reach and motivate him--many on the
> list know about that! Please let us know what happens, and remember you
> are
> not alone...
>
>
>
>
>
>
> >Please help. My father has something bad, he refuses to go to the dr.,
> ever
> >since my Mom died with a brain tumor and was misdiagnosed for quite a
> while
> >first, he does not believe in doctors. He also says that he doesn't want
> to
> >know because he will give up, and he knows he will live longer in
> ignorance.
> >
> >I think he has Parkinson's, Huntington's, ALS? His symptoms started with
> >shaking in his hands, both, I guess, I can't see that one is worse than
> the
> >other.  He just has trembling hands, they shake when he rests, not when
> he
> >sleeps, his shakes seem to get worse when he reaches for something, he
> >started saying he couldn't talk as well, though we didn't notice anything
> at
> >first.  In a space of two years, he drools pretty bad, and we are
> starting
> >to not understand him when he talks. He seems to walk ok, though he is
> slow.
> >In the last year, he has lost at least 30 or 40 lbs, he is very small
> now,
> >it takes him a long time to eat. His grandfather died from Huntington's
> >disease, but his own father, now 85, doesn't have any of the symptoms,
> >though he shakes a little from old age I'm told.  I've never seen him, he
> >abandoned my Dad when my Dad was 2, and I just found this out by
> contacting
> >my half-uncle.  My dad is 59.
> >I want to know if anyone has advice on how I could convince him to go to
> the
> >dr, or what he might have, or what I can do.  We have tried talking to
> him,
> >bullying him a little, asking, begging, shamelessly using his 2 year old
> >grandson as a reason, but it doesn't seem to work.
> >Does this sound like Parkinson's Disease?  If so, how do you treat
> someone
> >without them participating?  I've even been looking into Fava Beans,
> seeing
> >if I could get enough of them down him somehow to see if it makes a
> >difference, then at least I'd know what he has got?  Anyone have any
> ideas?
> >We love him very much. We are ready to do whatever it takes to take care
> of
> >him and help him as much as possible. Any advice would be really
> >appreciated.
>
>
>   Camilla Flintermann, CG for Peter 79/8
>   Oxford, OH
>   [log in to unmask]
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