this is a little long, but worth reading . . . . .nancy v
A STORY TO LIVE BY
A STORY TO LIVE BY..
by Ann Wells (Los Angeles Times)
My brother-in-law opened the bottom drawer of my sister's bureau and lifted
out a tissue-wrapped package. "This", he said, "is not a slip. This is
lingerie." He discarded the tissue and handed me the slip. It was
exquisite; silk, handmade, and trimmed with a cobweb of lace. The price tag
with an astronomical figure on it was still attached. "Jan bought this the
first time we went to New York, at least 8 or 9 years ago. She never wore
it. She was saving it for a special occasion. Well, I guess this is the
occasion." He took the slip from me and put it on the bed with the other
clothes we were taking to the mortician. His hands lingered on the soft
material for a moment, then he slammed the drawer shut and turned to me.
"Don't ever save anything for a special occasion. Every day you're alive is
a special occasion." I remembered those words through the funeral and the
days that followed when I helped him and my niece attend to all the sad
chores that follow an unexpected death. I thought about them on the plane
returning to California from the Midwestern town where my sister's family
lives. I thought about all the things that she hadn't seen or heard or
done. I thought about the things that she had done without realizing that
they were special. I'm still thinking about his words, and they've changed
my life. I'm reading more and dusting less. I'm sitting on the deck and
admiring the view without fussing about the weeds in the garden. I'm
spending more time with my family and friends and less time in committee
meetings. Whenever possible, life should be a pattern of experience to
savor, not endure. I'm trying to recognize these moments now and cherish
them. I'm not "saving" anything; we use our good china and crystal for
every special event - such as losing a pound, getting the sink unstopped,
the first camellia blossom.
I wear my good blazer to the market if I feel like it. My theory is if I
look prosperous, I can shell out $28.49 for one small bag of groceries
without wincing. I'm not saving my good perfume for special parties; clerks
in hardware stores and tellers in banks have noses that function as well as
my party-going friends. "Someday" and "one of these days" are losing their
grip on my vocabulary. If it's worth seeing or hearing or doing, I want to
see and hear and do it now. I'm not sure what my sister would have done had
she known that she wouldn't be here for the tomorrow we all take for
granted. I think she would have called family members and a few close
friends. She might have called a few former friends to apologize and mend
fences for past squabbles. I like to think she would have gone out for a
Chinese dinner, her favorite food. I'm guessing - I'll never know. It's
those little things left undone that would make me angry if I knew that my
hours were limited. Angry because I put off seeing good friends whom I was
going to get in touch with someday. Angry because I hadn't written certain
letters that I intended to write one of these days. Angry and sorry that I
didn't tell my husband and daughter often enough how much I truly love them.
I'm trying hard not to put off, hold back, or save anything that would add
laughter and luster to our lives. And every morning when I open my eyes, I
tell myself that it is special. Every day, every minute, every breath truly
is...a Gift from God.
"You've got to dance like nobody's watching, and love like it's never going
to hurt. People say true friends must always hold hands, but true friends
don't need to hold hands because they know the other will always be there."
-UNKNOWN
"I will not drag you along. I will not leave you alone. I will stand by
you and have my hand there for you to hold when you need to..."
