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hi all i exchanged a couple of messages with a cyber-sibling in re dr. david burns' ideas on cognitive distortion and 'automatic' negative thoughts the more i learn about this the more easily i see it in me and in others "bd" has agreed with my idea to post this to all of you in the hope that it will help someone else ********** hi "bd" you wrote: >...five years ago when i was in a sort of state of >mental health emergency, my counselor gathered >both my parents and my brother and various friends >into one room. I think i learned more in that couple hours >than ever before, i still in fact learn from it. i've heard/read about this kind of 'tough love' 'confrontation' all positive things and you are right the learning from our experiences is an ongoing process we are always changing/growing at least i hope so i find myself re-reading some books and getting something totally different from them on the second or third reading because my viewpoint has shifted/expanded >my mother...is, i believe, bothered >by the stigmas of mental health... this isn't limited to your mother it's a problem in our society in general >...i have found out years later that >she thinks it is somehow her fault... this sounds like one of the cognitive distortions behind those automatic thought 'monkeys' as outlined by dr. burns: Cognitive Distortion Number 10: "Personalization: You see yourself as the cause of some negative external event which in fact you were not primarily responsible for." >...the problems i have had and >has always refused to talk about them. and this sounds like classic denial and repression if i don't acknowledge it if i don't talk about it it might go away >so now i think it is extremely difficult >for her to look at her own situation. when i am in the pit of depression my viewpoint on everything is clouded by glum and darkened by fear since i am feeling so lousy, i must be a lousy person... and i get too frightened to explore that territory Cognitive Distortion Number 7: "Emotional Reasoning: You assume that your negative emotions necessarily reflect the way things really are. 'I feel it, therefore it must be true.' >thanks again for your notes you are most welcome again i am only sorry that i've been so slow to respond my recent med 'fine tuning' has helped my outlook/activity level a great deal >>did you see the collection of messages i re-posted >>last month about depression and the family atmosphere on the list? >>i'd be happy to copy them to you >>if there is any chance they would help you or your mother > >yes i would love a copy good! be warned they are on their way! maybe this delay in replying to you was intended; i have revised and simplified the collection of messages after looking at them with clearer eyes this morning >you have a very nice way of sharing things, >i have noticed it before. thank you for that, "db" i consciously try not to judge anyone but to relate their situation to some experience of mine "there but for grace..." much love for you and your mother janet ********** janet paterson 51/10 - sinemet/selegiline/prozac almonte/ontario/canada - [log in to unmask]