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Hello P. D.'s: I am a newbie here on this list. I need some help or advice. In May of 1990 at age 50, I was diagnosed with Parkinson's Syndrome (atypical tremor in my left arm). The disease took its toll on my body during the next few years. I battled this relentless demon every way I knew how. Sinemet was a miracle drug for me for a time. Meantime, my left side grew steadily more rigid, and my tremor worsened considerably. My energy level dropped dramatically. Any type of physical activity brings on immediate fatigue, and as a result, excacerbates my tremor. (BTW,the tremor never stops) As noted previously, Sinemet helped for a time. But the spasms, and other side effects of the medication, and or my condition, seem to have altered my personality. I am, or I should say, was an outside salesman. But over time, I gradually grew more reclusive as my condition worsened. I noticed while making calls in my car, I experienced extreme anxiety in heavy traffic situations. My reflexes slowed. I would get confused, even lost. (Aggressive drivers scare the hell out of me.) This anxiety I experience in traffic, could be described as a panic attack, I guess. As a result of my fear to drive in heavy traffic, I find myself refusing to leave my home office. I do get bored. I spend a lot of time watching tv, surfing on the net, reading, etc. I try to fight my depression. But, admittedly, my emotional outlook is very negative and they tell me I am very irritable. I would rather not be a loner, but I think I would stay in my home and never go out on city streets again, particularly expressways, if I did not have to do so to survive. Oh, I drive to a nearby village a couple of times a week now, but I only have one major intersection to cross to get to my destination. It is an intimidating location. But, I would wait til hell froze over before I would make a move to cross the highway, if I felt it was unsafe. My left leg is very rigid now at the hip. Walking, bending, stooping, you name it, whatever I do with that leg, triggers excruciating pain. This pain appears to emininate from around the vicinity of my sacroiliac. I do not know if it is P. D. related, or not. At the urging of my wife and my doctors, I filed for disability benefits in connection with an individual D.I. policy I purchased 12 years ago. I also have applied for benefits with Social Security. To qualify for benefits under my individual plan, I must meet a "regular occupation" definition. This policy also contains a Soc. Security rider under which a supplemental benefit is paid to the insured pending qualification of Social Security benefits. (FAT CHANCE) Social Security has responded with a series of lengthy questionaires concerning my claim. They are bewildering to me. I have read the two FAQ's concerning Social Security D.I. benefits. They would be informative to a clinician, I guess...but I am a claimant sitting here facing this pile of forms. In closing this diatribe, allow me to tell you I am now 58. I have lost 35 pounds in the last three years. My voice grows weaker. My dead-pan stoic appearance is a crowd-pleaser, I am sure. I am impotent. I am an insomniac. My extremeties are afflicted with rigors. My hands and feet get ice cold. My left hand becomes cyanotic perodically. The tremor in my left hand is violent at times. Dyskinesia episodes leave me writhing. As a result of my efforts to fight the tremor, I have strained the ligaments in my left arm so severely...I wear a brace several times a week. My left leg is rigid, and I have constant pain in the hip. I am weak, tired, and weary of all this. I realize others out there have it worse than I do. But this is my moment, before I become the lurker again. Can someone help me with these forms? It IS probably stupid of me to think Social Security will approve my application anyway, since I only have one so-called afflicted extremity...but what the heck! Sherman in EADS, TN