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At 04:16 PM 5/13/98 -0400, you wrote: >There is a family in my support group that I am fairly friendly with that has >presented me the following problem. > >The male in the family is 75 years old and has PD. His PD coupled with his age >causes him to be very slow in his thoughts and actions. The spouse is 10 years >younger, very attractive and out going in nature. > >The problem is that he has put their house of 40 years up on the market for >sale. The care giver wife is devastated with the thought of leaving her house >of 40 years and moving away. The home is a two story home and the PWP disease >has bad knees and doesn't want to go up and down stairs any more. He has also >purchased a car that is too big for her to drive so a move out of her current >residence will present problems to her once he can no longer drive which is >really right know. The Caregiver was on the phone crying for an hour over this >turn of events. > >The question is do I undertake to advise him of his wife's concerns and try to >impress upon him that we have to take care of the caregivers so they can take >care of us? He has always been the dominant one in the relationship and would >never consent to speaking to a counselor and I almost think it is past his >ability to appreciate the problem he is causing even if I explain it to him. > >I would welcome any thoughts or similar experiences dealing with this problem. >I am picking him up tomorrow and taking him to breakfast which I do once a >month to give me an opportunity to talk to him if appropriate > >Thanks in advance >[log in to unmask] dale i wish i had a good answer to your ? but don"t i have a friend who had a stroke. vivian and i take him out for breakfast every sat. see him more often try not to try and change him to much as of now. as i am not one to be told any thing. if you can let him read some of the post(list) that might help. explain in an settle way of his wrong doing. that is about all the advice i can give you hope a little helps I.Y.Q. DON & VIVIAN