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In a message dated 5/13/98 4:04:13 PM Central Daylight Time, [log in to unmask] writes: << >The question is do I undertake to advise him of his wife's concerns and >try to impress upon him that we have to take care of the caregivers so >they can take care of us? He has always been the dominant one in the >relationship and would never consent to speaking to a counselor and I >almost think it is past his ability to appreciate the problem he is >causing even if I explain it to him. > >> Dale, My wife and I were in a similar situation. I had my act really together, and she didn't realize that things which she took for granted didn't just happen, I caused them. Then came the day when I tried to get her to do these things. She would not. I finally wound up in the psych ward of Barnes hospital with something like "accelerated depression." However, in the ensuing months we came to recognize that things had and would continue to change. I have to consult her before any earthshaking decisions, and usually do so on the lesser ones as well. Perhaps if you approach him with my story, it would get the point across and not put him off. if you think so, please feel free to give him my address Regards, WHH 54/18