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Just got back from a semi-tiring 3 day trip to pick up junior from college in VA to find this.....I like #15. When Age Happens =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- 1A man has reached middle age when he is cautioned to slow down by his doctor instead of by the police. 2Middle age is having a choice of two temptations and choosing the one that will get you home earlier. 3You know you're into middle age when you realize that caution is the only thing you care to exercise. 4I don't date women my age. There aren't any. (Milton Berle) 5Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you. 6Don't take life so seriously ... it's not permanent. 7The trouble with life is, by the time you can read a girl like a book, your library card has expired. (M. Berle) 8As for me, except for an occasional heart attack, I feel as young as I ever did. (Robert Benchley) 9The aging process could be slowed down if it had to work its way through Congress. 10As we grow older year by year, my husband always mourns: the less and less we feel our oats, the more we feel our corns. 11I have everything I had 20 years ago, only it's all a little bit lower. (Gypsy Rose Lee) 12You're getting old when getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot. 13You're getting old when you're sitting in a rocker and you can't get it started. 14You're getting old when tying one on means fastening your MedicAlert bracelet. 15You're getting old when you don't care where your wife goes, just so you don't have to go along. 16You're getting old when you wake up with that morning-after feeling, and you didn't do anything the night before. 17Doctor to patient: I have good news and bad news-- the good news is that you are not a hypochondriac. 18It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything. 19You know you're getting old when you stop buying green bananas. 20Last Will and Testament: Being of sound mind, I spent all my money.