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Don -- I hope a lot of folks have told you how wonderful you are, because you are. Like most of us PWP, I fight the same battles as you every single day. As much as I love my wife, when I listen to the logic of her "slow down" arguements my instant reaction is to double my efforts to do something. Often she doesn't say anything when, halfway through a project, she has to retrieve me, bring me inside, give me my meds and put me to bed. She knows she's right but I don't and the last thing I'll do in this world is admit defeat to PD. There's a piece I wrote sometime ago: http://www.newcountry.nu/pd/satmorn.htm about giving up and giving in. Cathi is grown now, married with a child, moved away from home. God gave me those three years, just like I asked. But I didn't keep my part of the agreement. I still climb on the tractor and mow a couple of acres, still wander out in the pasture to check fence lines, still try to climb to the top of the windmill to oil the gearbox. I suffer because of my hardheaded ways, suffer by shaking and hurting and ending up in all sorts of predicaments, but I also gain, too. I gain because I know I tried, because I refuse to allow PD to dictate my future, because I will not go willingly down PD's path to silence. "The Wanting," as I call it, is what keeps me alive. Wisdom in this case is not a virtue, what a wiser person would do is not what I chose. And at the hour of sunset, when I'm feeding the horses and slowly walking back (stumbling) to the house, I might hurt in every PD worn muscle I have but there is one place where PD will never get - into my spirit. In there I am deeply happy. I did what I wanted to do, I lived as I wanted to live. Keep fighting, Don. There are probably a lot of folks who disagree, who would rather we "be logical about our limitations" and "realize the extent of our physical problems." High-flying talk for giving up. Let's make a deal - let's not listen to them. We only have one chance at this life, let's enjoy it to the fullest. You ride that tractor and drink your java, I'll ride my horse and sing country songs out there where no one can listen and if anyone says anything about it, let's just grin. It'll drive them up the wall. -- Jerry Finch The Official PWP Dumpster Gang Hideout http://www.newcountry.nu/pd/ The PWP WebRing http://www.webring.org/cgi-bin/webring?ring=parkie;list