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hi lisa you wrote: >Hi all, today was ok, tonite was bad.. >for the first time I acknowledged the progression of my disease, >I've been pushing my self really hard physically and emotionally, >and today and tonight my body just screamed at me! >you have pd, this is the way it is, my back aches, my hands shake, >my legs are aching and I cant open this goddam container of blueberries >or pull a gallon jug off the top shelf of the fridge ( too heavy) maybe you were 'forced' to acknowledge the 'progress' by the complaints your body was making i'll bet if you were to observe me struggling with that blueberry container [blueberries? - in the tropics?] or if you saw me drop the gallon jug you would react to my troubles and my reality with empathy and compassion it's tricky but terribly important that we remember to treat ourselves the same way we treat others the golden rule is a two way street >Everything else in my life is pretty fantastic! >what is my problem? I am a successful artist working >on a fabulous church mosaic intstallation, and getting paid for it. >i live in paradise, and am relatively happy most of the time, >what right do I have to bum out what right? you have every right in the world to feel glum about your lot in life once in awhile you are only human just like me just like us >about this seemling minor ( to most casual observers) afffliction. >they dont feel or see my whole insides shaking , >they dont feel or see my lack of coordination, my fumbling hands, >my fatigue , my aches, my toe curl. we all live in our own separate little body-bags [!] and look out at the world with our unique eyes through our own unique filters could it be that your sensitivity which enables you to feel joy as an artist is the same sensitivity which enables you you to feel the pain of loss? >Tonite was bad but, tomorro will be better. maybe, maybe not there are no promises here of 'good times' just hard lessons, hard work, and the satisfaction of learning and growing >thanks, by the way to all of you >and also to the PWP dumpster gang site, >it was like a having , well you all know what it's like to have you' all. we have come a long way as an ethereal family and we are still evolving i think jerry is a gem for providing the site i think we are all gems for the giving and taking that goes on there much love from one island sibling to another janet janet paterson aka calendar control supervisor 51/10 - sinemet/selegiline/prozac - [log in to unmask] quotations: http://newww.com/cgi-bin/do_cal?c:newvoice pwp event calendar: http://newww.com/cgi-bin/do_cal?c:pwpc