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>>>These quotes are taken from real resumes and cover letter and were >>>printed in the July 21, 1997 issue of Fortune Magazine. >>> >>>(Note: All typos etc. are as actually written) >>> >>>1. "I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience." >>>2. "I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0 computor and spreadsheet progroms." >>>3. "Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year." >>>4. "Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave." >>>5. "Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial instutions." >>>6. "Failed bar exam with relatively high grades." >>>7. "It's best for employers that I not work with people." >>>8. "Let's meet, so you can 'ooh' and 'aah' over my experience." >>>9. "You will want me to be Head Honcho in no time." >>>10. "Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details." >>>11. "I was working for my mom until she decided to move." >>>12. "Marital Status: single. Unmarried. Unengaged. Uninvolved. >>> No commitments." >>>13. "I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse." >>>14. "I am loyal to my employer at all costs....Please feel free to >>> respond to my resume on my office voice mail." >>>15. "I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely no one >>> and absolutely nothing." >>>16. "My goal is be a meteorologist. But since I possess no >>> training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokeridge." >>>17. "I procrastinate, especally when the task is unpleasant." >>>18. "Personal interests: donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far." >>>19. "As indicted, I have over five years of analyzing >>> investments." >>>20. "Instrumental is ruining entire organization for a Midwest Chain >>>store." >>>21. "Note: Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as 'job-hopping'. >>> I have never quit a job." >>>22. "Marital Status: often. Children: various." >>>23. "Reason for leaving last job: They insisted that all employess get >>> to work by 8:45 am every morning. I couldn't work under those >>>conditions." >>>24. "The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous >>> employers." >>>25. "Finished eighth in my class of ten." >>>26. "References: none. I've left a path of descruction behind me." >>> >>> >>> >>>THE FOLLOWING QUOTES WERE TAKEN FROM ACTUAL PERFORMANCE EVALUATIONS: >>> >>>"Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has >>> started to dig." >>> >>>"His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity." >>> >>>"I would not allow this employee to breed." >>> >>>"This associate is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a >>> definitely won't be." >>> >>>"Works well under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a >>> trap." >>> >>>"When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change >>> whichever foot was previously in there." >>> >>>"He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle." >>> >>>"This young lady has delusions of adequacy." >>> >>>"This employee should go far - and the sooner he starts the better." >> >> --------------215D69F8674-- --------- End forwarded message ----------