Ken: You speak from the heart. I believe that you have concern for the others on the List. But we all have a mission in life. I'm really not sure of mine yet, but that is OK. I know it will show soon. One of my stepfathers (my mother had a few - so did my dad) well anyway, the 4th one was wonderful. He treated me like his own. Would do anything to help me. My daughter and I had a birthday party for him ( was 80), he had never had a party. Two nights later a terrible feeling washed over me. The phone rang, he was dead. I was so angry that "God" had taken him away from me. I only had 4 years with him. I have a meditation book I read from. That day that he died, I read it. First line of meditation "Well done though good and faithful servant, enter into the kingdom of god" It also spoke that the questions I have cannot be answered due to the fact I would not understand. OK and it helped. It was OK for me to be angry at "God". One thing now is I do thank the ppowers that be for the 4years I had with Nick. He was the only father I knew. I believe in humor for most everything. Why not. I have grumpy days. The blinds stay closed,, answering machine picks up calls, I do not answer the door, I go no where, but I am the type of person that I can't stay that way long. I am sure that some would like me off the list. Due to the fact that I have emailed them and they do not answer. That is really OK. To quote a famous Captain in the Fleet - I am what I am and thats all that I am. LOL LOL LOL LOL Let it out, I see those corners of your mouth trying not to curl. So I ran through all of the emotions for PD. I am not thrilled but the sooner I accept where I am the sooner I can see where I am going. Nothing happens by chance. There is a power greater than me running this show. But we were also given the power of choice in our lives. I choose to keep myself up. Thanks Ken Keep on Movin' not shakin' Gina Yours in a cure