. 40 SIGNS THAT YOU'RE OVER THE HILL
1. You're sitting on a park bench, and a Boy Scout comes up
and helps you cross your legs.
2. You keep repeating yourself.
3. Lawn care has become a big highlight of your life.
4. You tune into the easy listening station... on purpose.
5. You light the candles on your birthday cake, and a group of
campers form a circle and start singing "Kumbaya."
6. Someone compliments you on your layered look...
and you're wearing a bikini.
7. You keep repeating yourself.
8. You start video taping daytime game shows.
9. You wonder why you waited so long to take up macrame.
10. Your insurance company has started sending you their free
calendar... a month at a time.
11. At cafeterias, you complain that the gelatin is too tough.
12. Your new easy chair has more options than your car.
13. When you do the "Hokey Pokey" you put your left hip out...
and it stays out.
14. One of the throw pillows on your bed is a hot water
bottle.
15. Conversations with people your own age often turn
into "dueling ailments."
16. You keep repeating yourself.
17. It takes a couple of tries to get over a speed bump.
18. You discover the words, "whippersnapper," "scalawag," and
"by-cracky" creeping into your vocabulary.
19. You're on a TV game show and you decide to risk it all
and go for the rocker.
20. You begin every other sentence with, "Nowadays..."
21. You run out of breath walking DOWN a flight of stairs.
22. You look both ways before crossing a room.
23. You keep repeating yourself.
24. You come to the conclusion that your worst enemy is
gravity.
25. You go to a garden party and you're mainly interested in
the garden.
26. The waiter asks how you'd like your steak... and you say
"pureed."
27. You start beating everyone else at trivia games.
28. You frequently find yourself telling people what
a loaf of bread USED to cost.
29. Your back goes out more than you do.
30. You keep repeating yourself.
31. You refer to your $2500 stereo system as "the hi-fi."
32. You make it a point to attend all the RV shows that come
to town.
33. You realize that a stamp today costs more than a
picture show did when you were growing up.
34. Your childhood toys are now in a museum.
35. Many of your co-workers were born the same year
that you got your last promotion.
36. The clothes you've put away until they come back in
style... come back in style.
37. All of your favorite movies are now revised in color.
38. The car that you bought brand new becomes an antique.
39. You keep repeating yourself.
40. You find this list tasteless and insensitive.
Have a great day,
Gail Vass
