Wonderful, wonderful piece. I applaud your talent, humanity, and, yes, your grace. I remember my mother commenting on my whistling when I was young. She said, "Laides do not whistle". I rebelliously told her that I didn't care to be one because "ladies never have any fun". As time went on I, of course, changed my definition of what it is to be a lady. The new definition had to do with always maintaining a sense of class. Not in the apartheid or caste sense of class, but that of true grace under pressure. It included always being true to yourself, and always treating others as we would like to be treated. All I can say is, if you turn to the word "lady" in the dictionary, I fully expect to see your picture there. I've written a little poem for my husband, as caregiver, but it's about our loss of grace as well: "A Tune that No One Else Can Hear" * Through thick and through thin he's stood by me, And kept my spirits high. A better companion, I suspect, No one could ever find. * His words are full of encouragement. He listens with his heart. He's raised friendship to a higher plane, And caring to an art. * At those times when I need him the most, When people stop and stare, I am so grateful for his support, For me, he's always there. * But the thing that touches me the most, That lights up my whole face, Is that he's never been ashamed of A wife who's lost her grace. * So ask him why I quiver and quake-- He'll simply say, "My dear, Her toes are just tapping to a tune That no one else can hear." ***