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Dear Joe: I have just a couple of thoughts that might or might not shed some light on your situation. Your letter has a tone of personal acceptance of your disease. This is crucial. As well, you express joy in the presence of your children in your life. This is also definitely a plus in the area of attractiveness. As a young woman, I found myself, healthy, but alone too much of the time. I was new in the city and besides my job as a high school teacher, I really had only one girlfriend with whom I was close. For two years we agonized over how to properly meet men who would understand our honorable intentions. At that time (early 70's) singles clubs had dubious reps. Finally I just gave up. I let it go. I decided to focus on making myself happy. I made a decision to change careers, to leave teaching, get on a train to Toronto and look up a theatre director who had promised me to find me work if ever I decided to go into theatre. Well I didn't leave teaching, but I did change my life. It was on that very train that I met my husband of 25 yrs. One of the things we talked about in the 5hr. trip was how adamant each of us were about never gettiing married (!), My point here is, that after I stopped looking for a mate, and focusing on the quality of my own life, someone became attracted to me. I hope you would like some suggestions, because here is what I would do: I'd sign up for classes in areas that would excite me (in my case I'd take creative writing, stained glass making, etc. ) Then I'd do what I decided to do when I got my diagnosis: I would greatly expand my circle of friends. My reason for this is that I might visibly deteriorate over the next, say, 10 yrs. If I still want to have a social life and not become reclusive as so many of us seem to do, then I need a wide circle of friends for whom my masking face and trembling limbs will not seem odd, as they will have been with me all along. I will not seem unusual. I will just be Barb. So I have people over for supper a LOT (everybody helps serve and pour coffee), and I go out a LOT (people know now not to serve soup, as we all might be wearing it by the end of the meal.) As a young, eligible woman, I never cared to be pursued. I found it unsettling. But if I met someone who was attractive, was incredibly courteous, had creative ideas, and was comfortable with his intelligence, I became extremely interested. Meeting people in classes, courses, or through friends gives everyone lots of space, as the focus is on the activity not the people. I think your request to air this topic was entirely appropriate. I wish you all the best, Barb R. -----Original Message----- From: JOSEPH M PEINKOFER <[log in to unmask]> To: Multiple recipients of list PARKINSN <[log in to unmask]> Date: Wednesday, July 15, 1998 12:10 AM Subject: any single PWP here? >Hi, > >I have been a pretty much silent observer since joining your wonderful >group. I look foward to reading your posts, even the not so happy ones. > >I don't know if I am alone in my situation or there are others like me and >if anyone could share some thoughts- I guess the proper term would be >'inspiration'. > >I am trying, with poor success, to re-enter the world of dating. I have >been divorced for a while now. It has been very difficult for me to find >someone who is willing to date me and my disease-we are a package deal. > >I get along pretty well, can mask my symptoms with medication, for a while. > But then, I am living a life of deception if I don't tell someone, and >that is not me. Additonally, my two little children live with me, and for >that reason alone, women are not interested. Heck, at my age(44), most >have kids already grown and are not willing to start over. > >Don't misunderstand me about my kids being a negative thing. Having them >and being their parent is God's greatest gift he has ever given me and I >thank him every chance. Even, in a strange sense, my PD has been a gift in >the fact that it allows me to stay home with them as I now collect SSD. > >When I mention my situation to a posiible date, women are not interested. >I can understand some of that. > >So, I was wondering, if anyone else in our group has had, or is going thru >this too. >Just one more of those frightening things of Parkinson's. > >Thanks all. I hope that I wasn't out of line asking a question like this >here. > >joe 44 & 5 >> ________________________________________________________________ >